Azkaban
by Kimmimaru
Summary: Azkaban is the highest security prison on the British Isles, it is the place where the most dangerous and insane criminals are sent. When Sirius Black is wrongly accused of murder and high treason he is imprisoned in Azkaban with the sole intent to search for a way to escape and commit the crime he was condemned for. (AU. Wolfstar)
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Ok, this is just a short chapter simply to assess what reaction I get. It is inspired by another fic that I'm reading (If you want to read it, I would recommend it to any Wolfstar fan! It's called Dead or Alive by Rewrites24. Honestly, it is AMAZING! Give it a go!) and I couldn't avoid writing it down because the idea would not leave me alone! I know, I have lots of other fics to do but I was afraid that the ideas that have been bugging me all day would disappear if I didn't write it so here it is. Please enjoy and as this is a tester chapter I would appreciate any reviews! Thank you in advance. **

Azkaban

"For the last time; I didn't do it!"

"Sirius Black, you are hereby sentenced to life-long imprisonment in Azkaban for the murder of twelve innocents and Peter Pettigrew."

"No! No! I swear to you I didn't-get your bloody filthy hands off of me! I didn't do it! No! Don't-"

The banging of the gavel, the cat-calls of the assembled spectators, the jeers, the leering hatred of the jury and judge; Sirius Black saw all of it before something hard hit him over the back of the head and he fell unconscious. His limp body was dragged roughly from the court room, the door slamming behind him with utter finality.

XXX

"Welcome to Azkaban, Mr. Lupin. This is the highest security prison unit in Great Britain; it holds approximately ten thousand murderers, rapists and child molesters. This is the place where the filth comes to die."

"It sounds very…pleasant." Remus said, his voice dripping sarcasm. The warden smiled wryly at the boy sat across from him, he leaned on his desk and clasped his hands before him.

"This isn't a holiday, you're not going to get treated with any ounce of respect from these thugs. Many who come here as guards end up handing in their notice within the first week, to work here you need to have a strong stomach and even stronger arms. I hope that you're stronger than you look." He gave the boy a sweeping glance, his eyes cold and hard, like twin points of ice. "You look like the prisoners will eat you alive."

Remus smiled grimly, his hand moving to rest upon his extendable truncheon. "Oh, trust me, Mr. Bates, I can handle myself."

"Very well, welcome aboard, Mr. Lupin." The warden extended his hand and Lupin took it in his own.

"It's good to be here, sir."

XXX

He came around with a heavy groan, his body ached all over, his mouth tasted of bile, shit and blood. He blinked slowly, his mind sluggish and his eyes taking too long to adjust to the light as it streamed in through the single barred window. "Ugh…" His voice slipped from cracked and bleeding lips like a curse. Sirius rolled onto his side and spat a thick wad of crimson spittle onto the cold stone floor of his cell, absently he wiped a hand over his mouth and winced. He sat up slowly, being careful to avoid aggravating his broken ribs but doing it anyway. He froze, eyes squeezed shut and a grimace of agony twisting his mouth until the pain had passed enough for him to be able to take stock of his surroundings. His cell was tiny, it had enough room to house one plain cot, a toilet and nothing else. He looked towards the door of his cell and saw the heavy bars blocking his view of the corridor beyond, the place was eerily quiet and it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Gingerly he rose, moving towards the bars with a strange, shuffling gait that didn't send too much pain rocketing through his battered body. He stood there, gripping the bars and gazing out into the corridor through his heavy fringe, the cells opposite housed several occupants but none seemed interested in him, they were all either curled up asleep or muttering softly to themselves, rocking back and forth. Sirius sighed heavily, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against the bars of his prison, his heart ached and his stomach began twisting itself into knots as he re-lived the moments that had put him where he was.

He had once been a prodigy, a boy from an extremely powerful political family who had managed to work his way into the Secret Intelligence Service or MI6. He had gone to a private, all boys school and had moved on to Eaton College where his parents had expected him to take a political career, just like everyone else in the family, but he had decided to take a different route and earned himself the firm disproval of his parents, uncles, aunts and every other member of his family. He had ostracised himself and eventually they had disowned him. However, he had discovered that he excelled in his chosen career, he was the top of all his training classes and he eventually earned himself various jobs as a spy working throughout Europe and East Asia. He had been the best at gathering information and he had even prevented more than his fair share of security threats. He had gained himself recognition from the Queen and worked his way up rapidly. However, he had fallen just as quickly from grace.

One day MI6 had informed him that there was a group of national terrorists who were after the lives of an extremely prominent family; the Potter's. Sirius had gone to school with James Potter, the son of an important Minister; they had rapidly become best friends and even became as close as brothers. When he had discovered this information it was inevitable that he also found out that there was a serious breach in MI6's security. There was a spy amongst the spies. He had fought long and hard to protect his friends but it had all been in vain when his other friend, Peter Pettigrew had betrayed them all. In a fit of intense rage Sirius had hunted the scum down only to walk straight into a bomb, planted by Pettigrew. He had managed to avoid getting blown to smithereens but twelve innocent people had not. His fellow MI6 employees had discovered him kneeling beside the crater and half laughing, half sobbing into blood coated hands. He had been arrested and tried in a private court session, his true identity as an MI6 spy had been kept secret from the general public, all they knew was that he was a mass murderer and dangerous. He had been sentenced and now thrown into one of the worst prisons to rot. He had tried to plead his case but had ultimately failed, his judge was an unpitying man, renowned for his hard stance on terrorism and threats to the state. His fate had been sealed and his cries of innocence ignored.

Sirius stifled a sob and slid to his knees, his eyes remained closed as he remembered the sight of best friend, a single gunshot wound through the heart and a look of stunned surprise plastered on his face. James had been lucky; his wife had been raped and beaten first right in front of their year old son. Only Harry Potter had survived, a tiny child who had been sent to live with an aunt and uncle. Sirius remembered holding him close to his chest, his heart tearing itself to shreds as the boy sobbed into his suit. He had managed to hold off on his tears until he reached the fresh air. He had never even been told why his friends had had to die. Again a sob tried to break its way through his gritted teeth and he covered his face in both his hands.

XXX

Remus followed his new boss down the long corridor, cells lined each side and occasionally he peered into them, he regretted it immediately as many of the occupants were insane. The prison had been almost literally carved from the very rocks of a tiny, remote Scottish island. It was filled with insane screams, the sound of laughter and the calls of gulls all put to the background music of the North Sea. He shivered as a chill wind blew through the corridor, whistling loudly as it went. He touched his truncheon lightly and forced his eyes back to his guide. He had heard the news when he had been changing into his uniform in the locker rooms, they had just received a new prisoner. The man was a nutter, committed for the betrayal of his country, the murder of twelve innocent civilians and the murder of a man who had been his friend. Some whispered that the murderer had been a member of MI6 but the Warden refused to answer questions regarding the truth, all anyone really knew was that he had been a spy for a national terrorist organisation known as the Death Eaters.

Remus halted when he realised that the Warden had stopped before a cell door, he crept closer feeling a little nervous of what he would find there. He peered into the cell curiously and found himself looking at a man with thick, jet black hair. He sat huddled in one corner with his hands pressed over his face, despite his hunched position, Remus could clearly see that if he were to stand he would be tall and extremely well built. The Warden banged on the bars of the cell, causing the man to jump and his hand to fall to his chest, as if he were used to having a weapon hidden beneath his jacket. When his fingers failed to close on the butt of a gun, the man's hand dropped uselessly to his side again, he looked up at them through his fringe and licked his lips quickly. Remus was dumfounded, he hadn't known what to expect from a mad-man but this certainly wasn't it. Sirius Black had a face that looked as if it had been carved of marble, his skin was pale, his eyes a startlingly bright grey and his lips a perfect imitation of a Renaissance angel's. Remus felt his heart skip a beat in his chest, he had never expected a murderer to be so handsome, but then he supposed a handsome spy would have an advantage over others.

"So, you're the Traitor?" The Warden sneered at the man, his face a mask of disgust. "You're the one who murdered all those civilians?" Sirius remained silent but Remus didn't miss the dangerous gleam that entered those beautiful eyes, he knew that the Warden would think twice about taunting Black if there weren't bars between them. "Not going to deny it then? Fucking disgrace is what you are! You're not going to like what my boys and I have in store for you, mate."

"I'm not your mate." The voice was so silky soft that Remus almost missed it, so did the Warden who had been about to move on.

"What did you say?" The warden hissed, his fingers tightening on the grip of his truncheon while the other one dipped to where he kept his Taser.

"I said; I am _not _your _mate_." Black replied in a voice as hard and cold as ice, a sneer etched itself upon his Da Vinci-inspired face.

"I'd shut your mouth right now you useless piece of shit! You only been here five minutes and already you got a mouth on you, listen to me; You'll regret that. In here the pretty one's don't last…just wait for shower time and I'll make sure you get to take yours with the big lads. You hear me?"

Sirius merely stared at him, his eyes as dark and dead looking as a corpse. Remus shivered, he couldn't help but wonder just who this man was, he didn't appear anywhere near as insane as the Media made him out to be. Black bared his teeth monetarily, giving Remus the strong impression of a dog that was cornered and extremely dangerous. Those silvery eyes met his for the briefest of seconds and it was as if someone had let off a taser in his spine, he bit down on his bottom lip and forced himself to look away. The warden stepped up to the bars and spat into the cell, missing Black by a few inches, Black's eyes moved to the pool of saliva before slowly moving to the Warden once again, Remus felt relief as if he had been looked over by an angry, starving lion.

"You watch your back in here, you're not going to last five minutes."

Sirius smirked coldly. "Oh I think I might be able to handle the trash you call guards…you'd be a fool to underestimate me."

On this Remus would have bet any amount of money that maybe Black was telling the truth, the Warden however sneered and turned away, moving off at a pace that Remus had to run to catch up with. "Fucking piece of terrorist shit. He'll get what's coming to him." The Warden muttered all the way as they patrolled the corridors, Remus only half listened, humming in vague agreement whenever the time seemed right while his mind dwelled on Sirius Black's angelic murderer's face.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Ok, so a second chapter to develop characters etc. I do hope people are enjoying, let me know if you are! :)**

The mess hall was loud, Sirius stood in line with a tray in his hands as he gazed absently off into space, his mind dwelling once again on the vision of the man he had once considered a friend. A man who had turned traitor and condemned him to a life in prison. His chubby visage haunted Sirius' every moment, awake or asleep, he was unable to escape. His head still rang with the remembered echoes of the bomb, his hearing still hadn't adjusted and sometimes he suffered from awful tinnitus. He had been incarcerated for only a few days now and he had begun to attract too much attention from the other inmates, the guards grinned knowingly whenever they witnessed one of those they named the 'big lads' watching Sirius. He couldn't help but be aware of their gazes. The big lad's were a motley crew of huge men with very little hair, they were usually seen in the exercise court surrounded by smaller men who looked so beaten and downtrodden that Sirius could almost have pitied them if he didn't know they were here for a reason. He kept a wary distance from these people, easily avoiding any confrontation but he knew that his time was running out and he may be forced to do something drastic to defend himself. He got his lunch and found an empty table to sit down at, he stared at his food in mild disgust, it didn't even really look edible. With a heavy sigh he picked up his knife and fork, not forgetting to use his napkin (even if it was made of flimsy paper). Before he could bring the first bite to his lips he felt a huge shadow loom up behind him and stifled another sigh, this one of irritation.

Slowly Sirius turned in his seat and found himself looking up at a large man with close-cropped hair and a wide grin revealing a set of stained teeth. "Alright there, newbie? My friends and I were wondering if you would like to sit with us." He offered in a voice that was surprisingly soft for one of such large size.

Sirius looked back down at his lunch before returning his eyes to the man. "I'm sorry, I'm not here to make friends." He said firmly.

"I'm not offering." The man said, his voice going hard. "You'll come sit with us because we've taken a fancy to you, if you don't want to get hurt I'd pick up my food and come with us if I were you."

Sirius closed his eyes briefly, as if silently praying before they sprung open again. "No. I'm fine, thank you." He felt a huge hand come down and land on his shoulder, he turned his head slowly and looked at it. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." He said in a voice so soft it was barely even audible. By now all eyes had moved to the scene, the weight of the stares was almost physical to Sirius and he had to fight hard to avoid becoming angry. He felt like a circus freak.

"You aint got a choice, boy. You'll come with us even if we have to drag you!" The huge man growled.

Sirius moved swifter than lightening. His arm shot upwards, the flat of his palm connecting with the man's nose. He screamed and stumbled backwards, Sirius stood up and struck the man's knee with his boot sending him crashing to the floor. Blood poured from his broken nose, his eyes streamed with tears of pain and he was now clutching his dislocated knee and wailing horribly. "I warned you not to touch me!" Sirius hissed furiously, eyes glittering like the stars in the night sky. He lifted his eyes to the group of guards who stood by the entrances to the mess hall before flicking back to his opponent. "Never put your disgusting hand on me again or I'll break your fucking head next time!"

The man made a strangled noise as he rose to his feet, causing Sirius to step back a pace until the backs of his knees struck the bench behind him. He almost lost his balance but regained it just in time to duck a wild swing from that ham-sized fist, he heard it whistle as it displaced the air above him and he struck out with a short, hard punch to the man's gut. He doubled over with a wheeze before straightening out again, Sirius was breathing hard already, he was not only a little out of shape but he was still wounded from the beating he had received when he had first been imprisoned. He moved slowly, each foot falling precisely as he tried to guide the man away from the table to give himself more room, as he circled he let his eyes flick towards the guards who were watching rabidly, eyes sparkling in the shadows of their peaked caps. He growled in frustration before returning his attention to his attacker, he regretted his momentary lapse when that huge fist finally connected with his jaw, forcing him to stumble backwards with a sharp gasp and into another pair of strong arms which slid around him and held him in a half-nelson.

Remus watched the group struggle, Sirius had been caught and was now being held still as the man he had attacked punched him repeatedly in the stomach. The room echoed with cries, jeers and cheers, he could see many people, even guards, taking bets on who would win. He shook his head and turned to the man he had been asked to shadow. "Shouldn't we break it up?" He asked.

The guard lifted an eyebrow and shook his head. "Nah, it'll play out and then we'll just stick Black into Solitary confinement for a couple of days."

"But he didn't start it, not really! He was just defending himself!" Remus said in astonishment. "I really think that we should do something, they might kill him."

"So? It'll be one less piece of shit we've got to look after." The man shrugged dismissively. "And any way, he made the first punch."

Remus turned back to the fight and bit down uncertainly on his bottom lip before sighing. "I can't stand here and watch this happen." He said and began moving over to the group of prisoners, his fellow sighed and followed him reluctantly. "Oi!" Remus called sharply, causing eyes to move in his direction. "Stop that now!"

The big lad's looked up in surprise before abruptly backing off, Sirius fell to the floor with a strangled grunt, he lay there, bleeding from his mouth and his eyes shut tightly in pain. Remus moved to his side, eyeing the prisoners warily as he crouched and began checking Sirius over. "You've got broken ribs, a few minor cuts and bruises but no serious damage has been done. You'll live."

Sirius opened one of those startling eyes. "T-Thanks…I know what-what damage…has been done…not s-stupid…ow fucking _shit_!" He groaned and rolled onto his back as Remus straightened and held out his night stick in case one of the others decided to overcome their shock at being stopped. It was strange hearing that posh accent come from those split lips, Remus smiled and shook his head as he bent once again and began helping Sirius to his feet.

XXX

Sirius sat on the low palate bed in the Hospital Ward, he watched the guard as he rummaged around in the first aid box for the things he needed. The doctor was absent, out having a nice quiet lunch in his office, Sirius supposed. He was topless, his ragged prison issue shirt lying at his side covered in slowly drying blood. He watched the young guard lift out a small kit especially for stitching minor but deep wounds, he drew out a needle and began disinfecting it. "You certainly know your stuff." Sirius commented lightly, brushing hair from his eyes with one hand, the other was placed firmly around his burning ribs. It was hard to talk but for some reason he couldn't help himself, he had always been a bit of a sucker for brown eyes and this guard had the most beautiful liquid chocolate coloured eyes Sirius had ever seen.

"My father is a very well known doctor; he taught me a lot of things." Remus replied absently as he wiped a cloth of mild antiseptic over a particularly deep wound in Sirius' side. "Hold still, this is going to hurt."

Sirius looked away as the needle was pushed through his flesh, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly as pain assaulted his senses. He closed his eyes and let it wash through him, enjoying the way it made his senses buzz and reminded him that he was still alive. "A doctor, huh? Bet that was fun."

"Yes, it was. He took me to his hospital a lot when I was younger and I got to watch him work…he always assumed that one day I'd follow in his footsteps." Remus smiled helplessly as he remembered his father's surprised face when he had told him he wanted to become a prison officer.

"Must have come as quite a shock to see his son doing this kind of shitty work…ow…" Sirius winced helplessly, hissing air through his teeth as his fingers clenched on the metal pallet bed beneath him.

"Stop being a wuss." Remus replied mildly. "Yes, he was a bit surprised but supported my decision."

"Sounds like a good man." Sirius muttered, still breathing slowly and painfully. "Good parents are hard to come by."

Remus finished his stitching and straightened up, he looked at Sirius for a long time in silence before smiling softly. "All done here. Next time try to avoid picking fights with the other inmates, it will only land you in more trouble."

Sirius looked down at the stitches in his side. "He must have grabbed a knife or something when I wasn't looking." He said absently as he picked up his shirt. "Thanks for your help but next time it might be better for you if you don't get involved, I'm a convicted murderer after all."

"I won't stand by when someone is in trouble, no matter what they've done. You're not here to be bullied and tortured, you're here to serve time for your crimes. You may have done evil things but I believe in redemption."

Sirius looked down at his bloody shirt and frowned. "Redemption? There's no such thing for me."

"Everyone has the right to a second chance." Remus insisted quietly, looking at Sirius with sympathy.

Sirius looked up at him through his matted hair, he eyed Remus with a critical gleam in his eyes before smiling bitterly. "I'm too far gone for second chances. I blew it all when I failed to avenge the death of my best friend." He stood up and shrugged into his shirt, hiding the brutal patchwork of bruises that covered his pale skin. Remus felt a brief pang of regret, Sirius' body was beautiful his skin soft and he let his eyes move down to the trail of dark hair that led to his groin before reminding himself that this man was a murderer and looking away. Sirius paused, looking at the guard from the corner of his eye and wondering if he had imagined that little pink flush on his cheeks. "Well, come on then, we can't stay in here all day…I think I've got to do some time in Solitary confinement, right?"

"Oh! Yes, yes of course." Remus shook himself mentally, berating himself for his monetary lapse of control. He escorted Sirius out of the Hospital Ward and into the dimly lit prison area once again, as they walked he watched him surreptitiously. Sirius moved with an inherent grace that made Remus slightly jealous, he felt like a bumbling fool next to him, as if his own limbs were made of stone while Sirius was made entirely out of air. His hair, despite the matted blood, fell into those stunning eyes and occasionally he brushed it away absently while he limped along in Remus' wake.

They passed a few occupied cells, Sirius casting looks over his fellow prisoners as if judging their strength before moving on. Many of them hissed and made rude comments, some laughed as he passed by but he held his head high and ignored them.

"Hey there, you're a nice piece of arse…if you ever get lonely remember me."

"I wouldn't mind breaking that in."

Sirius winced as someone wolf whistled, he bared his teeth in obvious agitation. "I'm going to be trouble when we get to the showers." He whispered to himself, barely even aware he was speaking.

Remus looked at him and bit his bottom lip. "I'm sorry…I wish there was some way I could help."

Sirius pushed hair from his eyes again, smiling a little sadly. "Don't worry, I can handle myself. It may put me back in Solitary but at least my dignity may remain intact for a while longer. Your boss was right about one thing, if I'm not careful these men will destroy me. I can't let my guard down for even a second."

"You'll be safe in confinement, there's always a guard on the door and none of the other prisoners are allowed near it." Remus said in a pathetic attempt to make his charge feel better. He didn't quite understand why he was trying to comfort him, Sirius Black was, after all, a man who had blown up a whole street and killed many unsuspecting innocents, but he couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow when he looked at him. He must have once been extremely popular, with his good looks, skills and obvious intelligence he would probably have had lots of good friends. Why had he ruined it all? His career, his friends, his chance at a life? Remus was rapidly becoming ever more curious about this man. It was a dangerous cycle to be on but he couldn't help himself.

"Oh yes, I'm sure confinement will be like a holiday." Sirius replied sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. "Shut away in the pitch black with nothing but your memories to keep you company, sounds like great fun."

Remus smiled wryly. "Yes, I suppose it's not the best solution but I will speak to my boss about maybe getting you some extra protection when you come out."

Sirius turned to him and looked at him with such intense curiosity that Remus felt a little wrong-footed. "You're a strange one." He said softly, his eyes glittering as the light fitting above their heads flickered violently. "Why do you care so much about me? It's not as if I'm even worth the time or effort…if you wanted to you could just throw me to the wolves. These fools would happily eat me alive and even your guards wouldn't mind watching them do it. What makes you so different? Why would someone as kind as you work in a shit hole like this?"

Remus adjusted his hat, removing it and running his fingers through his hair as he considered the question. "When I was little I was…" He paused and looked away for a long moment before his eyes came back to rest on Sirius. "Abused by a man…" He licked his lips, fighting off the awful memories and closing his eyes briefly. "He did it because he had a grudge against my father who had refused to treat him for some disease and ultimately insulted him. He was a very dangerous man and he took me from my parents for a while, luckily my father managed to find me before he could kill me. The man was arrested but he later escaped his prison. I never want to see another child hurt because monsters like that have escaped." He smiled and Sirius was surprised to see the pain on his young face. "So I decided I would help guard these prisons and hope that no one will follow in my abusers footsteps." He shrugged and put his hat back on, his eyes avoiding Sirius'.

"I'm sorry." Sirius said lamely, wishing that there was more he could do to ease this man's pain. He lifted a hand and it hovered in the air before him for a moment before he let it drop back to his side, he looked away and frowned at the floor. "Really, I am."

"It's all in the past now. I'm doing what I can to help in the only way I can think of." Remus sighed softly and began walking on again. "I don't mind talking of it, it's a little like therapy."

"I think we all need that from time to time." Sirius muttered in reply with a bitter smile on his lips. "Did they ever catch the guy?"

Remus shook his head. "No, he's still out there somewhere…unless he's dead…"

"What was his name, did you ever find out?"

Remus gave him a long, hard sweeping look before his smile fell from his face. "Fenrir Greyback." He said in a cold, dead voice.

Sirius stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widening behind his fringe. "Greyback?" He whispered softly.

"Yes…" Remus frowned at Sirius' odd reaction. "Why?"

"I know that name. I met him once, when I was in Russia on a-a mission…He was running a child trafficking ring that was busted by my friends and I. Unfortunately he escaped. He works for the organisation that murdered my best friend."

Remus felt a frozen hand close over his heart before he forced his legs to move him forward. "Oh." He said in a shaking voice. "I had kind of hoped he had died." He turned and walked on in silence, Sirius following at a slightly slower pace, a dark, brooding frown on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: A nice long chapter for you here, please enjoy and heed the warnings, thank you. *WARNING: HEAVILY IMPLIED RAPE!* (it's cliché I know, but somehow I couldn't help but put it in. It's an important issue that actually gets little to no recognition, which is awful)**

The room was tiny and pitch black. Sirius sat curled in one corner with his arms covering his head as memories assaulted him. He saw his best friends body lying at the foot of the stairs, his glasses lopsided and blood congealing in the weave of his jumper, he saw his wife lying at the foot of the crib, her clothes torn and her body bruised, her beautiful hair covering her white face. He saw the child, that innocent little boy, standing in his cot and gripping the bars, screaming as if his life depended on it. He saw the bodies, thrown across the street like so many dolls discarded by a careless child, he felt blood trickling down his face and looked at hands that were stained crimson with the stuff. He heard his own insane laughter as his mind fractured as he realised with horror that he had failed. Failed to mete out the justice Pettigrew deserved because he was too slow. He saw faces he had hoped he had forgotten, mocking him in the dark corners of his temporary cell, he watched them turn into the faces of monsters. His mother, his father, his brother…all turning away from him in disgust. He shuddered and tightened his hands in his hair, fighting off the urge to scream. A broken sob escaped his lips but his burning eyes remained dry. He was alone, alone and trapped like a hunted fox, the dogs were snapping at his heels and his bolt hole was on fire. There was no escape. He would die in here. Who would mourn him? Certainly not Harry Potter, he was still only a baby, he didn't even know he had a Godfather. His only friends were dead, the others abandoning him despite his pleads of innocence. They had condemned him the second he had been arrested, telling everyone who had listened that they had always thought there was something off about him.

Remus sat in the break room with a few other guards, some were drinking tea and reading the papers, others were playing cards. Remus sat in a chair with his legs crossed and a pen in one hand while he methodically completed the crossword puzzle in _The_ _Independent_. He picked up his mug, frowning down at a clue while he tapped his pen absently on the arm of his chair, he took a sip and placed the mug carefully back on the coffee table. A short laugh disturbed his concentration and he looked up to see one of his workmates lifting up a copy of _The_ _Daily Mail_.

"Come here and have a look at this!" He called and Remus stood up, unable to help his curiosity. He moved so that he could see the article over the other man's shoulder, above it was a large blown up picture of Sirius Black. He was standing outside what looked like a pub, he had sunglasses covering his eyes and a large, happy grin plastered on his face. At his side was another man, Remus noticed that their hands were clasped intimately. "It says here that our new recruit had a Husband!" He laughed derisively and Remus read the article with wide eyes.

_Recent evidence has come to light regarding notorious mass murderer Sirius Black. The Daily Mail has discovered that a few years ago Black was in a committed relationship with the son of the High Lord Chancellor; Thomas Brown. It was kept a secret until this reporter discovered a photograph of the couple signing the marriage documents. We tried to contact Mr. Brown for a comment but he was unavailable, his father, however, demanded to know what we were doing harassing his son and threatened us with a law suit. _

"Wow! So Lord Brown's son is gay?" One of the guards said in shock. "Imagine discovering that the person you loved turned into a raving lunatic!"

"He's hardly raving." Remus said quietly as he straightened. "And it says there that the relationship ended a few months before Black was arrested."

"Maybe he realised what he really was and ditched him before Black murdered him." Another said softly. "Or he discovered dead bodies in the freezer."

"I highly doubt that." Remus turned away from the conversation feeling oddly elated, as if he had discovered something important. He could feel eyes on him as he returned to his seat and picked up his tea again, he took a deep gulp, feeling as if he was falling into a great, dark well that seemed to have no end. Just why was he so interested in Black anyway? What right did he have to pry into his private life? He knew it was wrong but he felt a tiny slither of relief when he had found out that Black was no longer in a relationship. It was ridiculous; he shouldn't be having such feelings for anyone, let alone a convicted felon. He frowned down at his crossword, ignoring the soft mutters and derisive laughter behind him.

XXX

A loud bang made Sirius jerk awake; he rolled off of his bed and straight into a crouch, his silver eyes wide as he snapped his head from one side to another. Remus watched him slowly realise that he wasn't in immediate danger before straightening himself out with a grumble, he had been released from solitary the day before but still winced when he was subjected to bright light. "Alright Black!" The warden said loudly. "Time for some exercise then a shower…you'll enjoy the second part." He smirked nastily and Sirius frowned in confusion, he glanced at Remus who shrugged and looked away.

Remus kept a close watch on Sirius as he sat in the yard, he had a book in his hands and, curious, Remus shuffled closer. He peered down over Sirius' shoulder and read the title of the book; _The Picture of Dorien Gray. _"Oscar Wilde? I wouldn't have thought that someone like you would be interested in that." Remus said casually, causing Sirius to look up at him, squinting in the bright sunlight.

"What do you mean 'someone like me'? I like the classics, this one being one of my favourites. Wilde's assessment of the human condition is as real today as it was when it was first written." He smirked as Remus looked at him, seeming to reassess him. "I also enjoyed _Emma_ by Jane Austin, I adore Shakespeare, my all time favourite being _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ and I also like to read books on art, history and archaeology. I can speak seven different languages including Japanese, Russian, Arabic, Mandarin and Latin. I'm a relatively competent mathematician and I am an accomplished Chemist, I like to make stuff explode." He looked up again at Remus and grinned, the smile made all the hairs on the back of Remus' neck stand on end, he stifled the urge to shiver violently. The smile was wild and had an edge to it that spoke of excitement and possibly danger, Remus felt his heart beating far too rapidly and he had to force himself to look away on the pretence of gazing out at the other prisoners. "I also make a mean Soufflé." Sirius added, almost as an afterthought.

"I'd like to try that one day." Remus replied without thought, he regretted it immediately when Sirius' mouth twisted bitterly.

"You'll be waiting a long time." He said in a rough voice as he looked back down at the tattered paperback in his hands. For the first time Remus noticed how elegant they were, and on his left hand was a single golden band. Sirius seemed to gaze at it for a moment, twisting it around his finger before sighing and lowering his head. "I assume you've read the news? Everyone else seems to."

"Yes…I did." Remus said slowly.

"I feel sorry for Tom and his family." Sirius said quietly, resting his head in his hands as he gazed morosely out at his fellow prisoners as they stood in bunches talking or sat alone gazing into space. "We only broke off our relationship because I didn't want to hurt him…his father hated me. He blamed me for his son being gay, it was easier to blame a stranger than his own blood I suppose. At least Tom's still got the support of his parents, that's more than I ever got. I loved him, you know?" Sirius looked up at Remus with such intense sincerity that Remus felt his heart ache in sympathy. "I really did…and I probably still do which is why I never took off this stupid ring. We wanted to do something…in the wake of Lily and James' wedding I suppose we were feeling a bit romantic." He smiled wistfully, his finger still slowly turning his ring. "It was stupid of us really, his father went insane with anger…I had to leave the house and wasn't allowed back so Tom moved in with me for a while and it…it worked. We were happy together." He sighed and closed his eyes. "Now he probably hates me. I know that but it still hurts."

Tentatively Remus put a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Nothing ever goes the way we want it to." He said softly and gave Sirius' shoulder a squeeze. "Perhaps he still loves you too?"

Sirius snorted. "I doubt it. I told him to move on with his life, to get over me as quickly as possible…I thought at the time that I was going to die, I ended it so that he didn't have to bury me." He looked at Remus for a long time. "You have similar coloured eyes." He said softly, an affectionate, adoring smile appearing on his face like the sun sliding from behind clouds on a rainy day. The expression increased his resemblance to a Botticelli angel, causing Remus' heart to triple its speed and he had to once again force himself to look away. Away by the fence that separated the yard from the sheer rocks of the cliff tops, Remus saw a scuffle break out, he sighed heavily and reached for his weapon. "You'd better go sort that out." Sirius said softly, his eyes sparkling like twin diamonds. "That's Jeff Boardman, he's a hard case."

"Isn't he the one who tried to attack you?"

"I attacked him." Sirius corrected gently. "And yes, he has it in for me now. I'd break that fight up if I were you or that bloke's going to end up without eyes."

Remus looked back at the fight to find that Boardman was now sitting on the smaller man's chest and was trying to push his thumbs into his eye sockets. "I'll be back." He said and moved towards them warily.

Sirius stood up, stretching and yawning widely and followed the strange guard curiously to see what he would do. He didn't even know the man's name but he couldn't have been any older than he was himself, he was very young for a prison officer and he wanted to know how he would handle Boardman. And, secretly, Sirius wanted to be there in case things got out of hand.

"Break it up!" Remus cried in a loud, carrying voice. The spectators backed away from the struggling pair as Remus stopped before them. "Come on!" He bent slightly and grabbed Boardman's big, beefy arm, hauling him up and away from his victim easily. Sirius raised an eyebrow, impressed by this unexpected display of strength. The guard looked as if he couldn't even lift a pillow without struggling but there must have been quite some muscle beneath his slightly baggy uniform, he found himself wondering just what his body looked like and had to stop his thoughts before they progressed too far. Remus looked over at some of the others guards and signalled one of them, he came rushing over with his weapon in one hand as he eyed the scene. "Take this one to the Infirmary, I think his eye sight may be damaged. Boardman here needs to spend some time in Solitary to cool off."

"Right, I hope you're going to do the paper work on this one, Lupin because I certainly won't be. Up you get, arsehole, let's get you to Doctor Schmitt."

Sirius watched from the sidelines, his eyes moving rapidly to each participant as he weighed the situation. His eyes met Boardman's who sent him a predatory glare, Sirius smiled darkly in return before moving away back to his seat where he opened his book and continued to read.

XXX

The room was full of steam; he could only just make out the dark figures standing beneath the uniform showerheads. Slowly Sirius found an unoccupied shower and turned it on, immediately hot water doused him, making him gasp and wince as it ignited pain in his wounds. Finally he grew used to the sensations and closed his eyes, enjoying the heat and the feel of water on his face as he tipped it back. His mind drifted, he allowed it to sink back to his past and a tiny smile lit his face like a lamp. As he smoothed his hair he remembered the numerous times he had taken a shower with his husband, he remembered the feel of those fingers in his hair, the soft laughter and those sweet, beautiful kisses. A part of him knew that he shouldn't allow himself to wallow on the past, not only would it only cause him pain but it would distract him from his surroundings but the steam and heat made him lax and it took him too long to register the fact that the hands sliding up his sides did not belong inside his head. He spun around quickly, momentarily forgetting that he was in a shower and therefore the floor was wet, he slipped and gasped before regaining his balance once more. When he looked up and spotted three of Boardman's 'Big Lad's' standing before him he felt cold hands clutch at his heart, obviously the fact that their leader was missing would not deter them from their intended goal. His eyes flicked from one to another as he gauged their strengths and searched for weaknesses, he spotted one who looked as if he had something wrong with his leg, perhaps a bone that hadn't healed properly, he saw another was favouring his right side when he walked but the third looked hail and as strong as a bull.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, he could feel the water from the shower pounding against his back and it reminded him too much of the time he and James had been sent to Iran to root out some dangerous terrorists who had been planning to attack the capital. It had been raining then, when they had been cornered and been forced to fight their way out, afterwards they had flown home injured but elated at their own survival, it was always the way. Being so close to death made one terribly aware of just how good life could be, when he had got home he had practically glued himself to his lover for three days before he was forced to return to work. It had been some of the best and worst times of his life and he knew he wouldn't change it for the world.

"That guard isn't here to protect you now, Black." The man who resembled a bull said with a mean grin, he cracked his knuckles and stepped closer, forcing Sirius back a step until the cold tiled wall hit his back. "What are you going to do? This can go two ways, either you turn around, close your eyes and let us do what we want with you or you fight and things get bloody. Personally I prefer option two but I win either way and hey, if you're good you may even enjoy it."

Sirius let out a slow breath before drawing himself up to his full height, he stood perfectly still, naked and alone with water and steam all around him and a sneer graced his handsome, battered face. "You'll have to kill me before I let any of you near me." He snarled furiously and, when the first punch came, he dodged it.

Remus heard the scuffle and saw several of his fellow guards crowding around the clear window that looked in on the showers. He frowned and moved forward. "What's happening?" He asked softly.

"Oh, Black's getting what he deserves. Filthy homo."

Remus twitched a little and had to bite down hard on the inside of his cheek, attempting to squash any angry retort. He liked this job and had no wish to lose it because he had started a fight with his co-workers. He took a deep breath, stifling his anger and gently pushed the men aside. "Let me through, I'm not going to just let them hurt him like that. It's sick."

"Hey, don't spoil our fun! We're taking bets on how long he'll last before they crush his will." The man grinned, revealing a single golden tooth. Remus wanted to punch it right out of his stupid fat face but once again he calmed himself.

"Get out of my way or I'll take this straight to the governor and the press!" He said in a dangerously soft voice, he watched in satisfaction as his fellow guard paled.

"Y-You wouldn't…It happens all the time here, these guys deserve it! Black is a fucking terrorist! He killed innocent kids!"

"Nothing justifies this." Remus said softly and pushed past them once again, this time they gave way with grumbles. He opened the door and ran into the shower rooms, he could hear muffled thuds, a soft cry that was cut short and heavy breathing even over the sounds of the showers. He didn't know why he was rushing to Sirius' defence, but there was just something about him that made Remus wonder whether there was more to his story than was first apparent. He ran into the water gushing from the showerheads and came to a halt when he spotted four figures through the mist, he brought out his night stick and moved forward.

XXX

Sirius opened his eyes slowly, he blinked slowly a couple of times before his vision returned to normal and he found himself looking up into a pale face. The figure had brown hair that was dripping water, the droplets ran down his cheeks as he frowned in concern down at Sirius. He felt a hand lingering on his cheek, the touch warm and soft and affectionate, once again his eyes slid closed as he recovered his wits, slowly he sat up, gently pushing Remus' hand from him. "'M fine." He muttered, pushing a hand through his own sopping wet hair. His body felt as if he had been hit by a train, he had yet more bruises to add to his collection and now an awful ache somewhere deep in his body that he decided he wouldn't think about. "Did you help me?" He asked, his eyes moving slowly around the room, the showers had been turned off and they appeared to be the only one's there.

"I did but I-I…I came too late…Sirius, I'm sorry." The pain in Remus' eyes was almost too much, Sirius looked away, looking down at his hands as they rested in his lap.

"It's fine." He said in a dead monotone, he began to try and stand but a firm hand on his shoulder forced him to stay put. "Honestly, I can stand. I don't need to be babied; I've had worse injuries than these." He waved a hand at his body and smiled weakly. "I remember once I was shot in the chest, that hurt like a son of a bitch. Another time I was tortured for three days, I was saved by James and Peter but I was in one hell of a mess. So don't worry about this, this is nothing."

"It's not your physical health that has me concerned." Remus said softly, a strange sympathy in his pretty brown eyes. Sirius looked away and sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes as he tried to focus his scattered mind.

"It's fine, honestly. I can deal with this, as I said, this is nothing compared to some of the things I've been put through. You need to stop worrying so much, you're starting to sound like my husband." He tried to smile but it felt stiff and fake so he let it fall and again rubbed at his eyes, concentrating on the pain it brought from the bruise on his cheek bone. He didn't realise his hands were shaking violently or that the water running down his cheeks wasn't all from his hair. Slowly, with great difficulty he climbed to his feet and swayed a little as the world began to turn grey, he stumbled sideways and Remus caught him before he could fall back to the tiled floor. Abruptly he flinched and took a step away, his head shaking in negation. "Best not to-to touch…" He muttered turned away. "I'll be fine. Had worse." He began moving back towards the changing rooms where his freshly washed prison uniform awaited him. "Had worse before…this is nothing…I can deal with i-it."

Remus watched him for a moment, his teeth digging into his bottom lip before he shook his head. He knew. He understood better than anyone else what it was like. With a soft sigh he followed Black and ensured he got dressed and got back to his cell.

XXX

_Soft hands captured his face, he looked into a pair of light brown eyes and felt his heart flutter comfortably in his chest. "Do you have to leave again?"_

"_I'm sorry…I'll only be gone two weeks, then I get a few days off. Just be patient, Tom." Sirius lifted a hand and covered his husbands with it, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Tom's before pulling away with a soft sigh. "I'll miss you."_

"_You always say it'll be only a few days but it never is. You're always gone for longer. I'm sick of it. I'm tired of doing nothing but wait for you to come home, I have to listen to my dad's constant rants about what an awful man you are and it gets really tiring. Please, Sirius, don't go. I hate waiting for you, wondering whether you'll even come back…or if you do what new wounds you'll come back with. You don't need to work, you can live off the money your Uncle gave you. Why do you have to keep going off with Potter and trying to be a hero? I hate seeing you hurt."_

_Sirius smiled softly, lifting his other hand and running his thumb over Tom's cheek. "I'll be fine. James always has my back, you know he does."_

_Tom sighed heavily and broke the intimate contact, he turned away and looked out of the window of their pent-house flat. "What do you two do when you're not murdering people?" He asked bitterly._

_Sirius winced. "It's not murder!" He said and realised his voice sounded a little too defensive. "I'm not killing any old random people, Tom! I'm on top secret missions, the only reason you have more of an idea of what I have to do is because your Dad's so high up in the Government. I have specific targets and order's only to kill if I have to. I do try to avoid using my gun. Don't make me out to be some sort of-of psycho!"_

"_Oh come on, Sirius. Who are you trying to kid? You love your job and I know you wouldn't give it up, not even for me…it's why I've never asked because I know that if I did it would be the end of us. I'm only trying to tell you how awful it is to be in my position, to watch as you run off with Potter alone and in some random country getting shot at and tortured! It's horrible!"_

"_Being tortured is no bundle of laughs either." Sirius replied darkly, a frown marring his face. _

"_Sirius, please quit this suicidal job! Do it for me! I don't want to end up arranging your funeral." Tom turned around, his eyes wide with long hidden fears. _

_Sirius considered him for a long time before sighing and closing his eyes. "I can't give this up." He whispered, his voice cracking a little as he fought with his turbulent emotions. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't let James go into this alone…he needs someone he can trust implicitly, and that's me. It has to be me. I wouldn't trust anyone else. Please understand why I have to do this."_

_Tom's eyes clouded over and he rubbed at them before laughing softly. "I should have realised…" He said bitterly. "It's not the job you love…it's never been the job. I can't believe I was so blind I didn't even see it…" He took a sharp breath and finally looked up. "It's Potter, isn't it? You're in love with James Potter. But he's straight, he can't love you back, not in the way you want him to, so you go abroad and risk life and limb for him every time. It was never the work, it was the man you worked with. I've been so stupid!"_

"_Tom! Tom listen to me!" Panic constricted Sirius' throat as he grabbed his husband's arm, his fingers tightened on the muscle and he saw him wince, he relaxed his grip and apologised before continuing. "Listen; I love you. I love you more than you will ever know or understand. James is…James is different…H-he's my best friend, we're like…like brothers. Do you honestly believe that I'm fucking him behind your back? Do you really think I'd not only risk losing you but risk hurting Lily as well?! Christ! I thought you knew me better than that!"_

_Tom sighed and closed his eyes, his hand coming up and prising Sirius' fingers from his arm, he drew away reluctantly and finally looked at him. "It's not just Potter…it's the thrills, the pain…you're addicted to it and you can't see how much it's hurting me when I watch you hurt yourself, even if it is by proxy. Is it some sort of punishment? Are you throwing yourself into danger because you feel as worthless as your parents claimed you were? What are you trying to prove? Don't you see how much its killing me?"_

"_No, that's not it at all!" Sirius said immediately, but deep down he knew that it was. Somehow he was still trying to prove to the parents who had effectively abandoned him at sixteen, that he was worth something. That he was good at his job, that he wasn't the waste of space they insisted he was. He was somehow trying to destroy the dark taint they had left behind in him, trying to remove every last particle of their hatred. The more he bled, the more he would bleed out the stain of their fascist thinking. He felt guilty whenever someone associated him with his family, he felt guilty and hurt and he remembered their insults, their hatred, and their abuse. He shuddered and breathed a deep sigh before once again attempting to rectify this rift that had sudden opened up between his husband and himself, a rift that had begun as a tiny crack on the day they had left school and decided to get married. The day Sirius had realised that his feelings for his best friend were a lot stronger than he had originally thought; the same day he had lost him forever to a girl._

Sirius woke with a jolt; he groaned and pushed his face deep into his pillow. He had been forced to fall asleep on his front, his back being far too painful to bear his weight. He groaned as all his aches and pains returned in full force, causing his muscles to tense. "Fuck." He muttered thickly and yawned, as reluctant as he was to turn over he knew he had to, there was someone at his cell door. With many curses and much wincing he managed to force his battered, aching body over and sit up. He found himself looking through his bars at Remus Lupin who was watching him in some concern, he forced a pained smile onto his lips, pushing away the memory of hot hands pinning him to cold tiled floors and heated, stinking breath against his ear.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: So another chapter, I am working on the assumption that someone, somewhere is reading this as I have no idea if they are or not. :/ I hope it is to people's liking, if not then it would be nice to be told why in a CONSTRUCTIVE way. Thanks.**

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" Sirius croaked with a smile that was more than a little broken, Remus hid his pity, Sirius didn't appear to be a man who would take kindly to that kind of emotion.

"You have a visitor, the Governor has given special permission for you two to meet." He said carefully.

"How exciting, I'll have to put on my best suit." Sirius stood up and stumbled, falling into the wall by his bed with a soft gasp as the world twisted and turned around him, he bent double attempting to fight off the intense bout of nausea.

Remus removed the keys from his belt and opened the prison doors before stepping inside and going to Sirius' aid, he helped him to stand and moved him back to the bed. "Here, sit down and I'll get you a drink of water." He said softly and picked up the slightly chipped glass that sat beside the cold chrome sink. He filled it while keeping one eye on Sirius who was gazing at the open door with a frown of irritation on his face, it was an open invitation for a man who could barely stand let alone escape. Remus brought the drink to Sirius who took it in one shaking hand, he downed the cool liquid and sighed heavily. "Can you stand now? I have to take you to the visiting rooms."

Sirius nodded and once again rose to his feet, this time the dizziness was short lived and he found that he could walk without aid.

The room was large with several tables and chairs scattered around, many of them were empty and those that were occupied were taken up by guards lounging lazily with their feet up on the tables. Their eyes followed Sirius' progress to a table and watched him sit, many of them smirked and leaned over to whisper to their fellows, Sirius ignored them as he clasped his handcuffed hands together and waited. Remus squeezed his shoulder briefly and he jerked away from the touch, frowning and looking down at the scarred wood beneath his hands. Remus backed off and looked away as the doors at the head of the hall opened to reveal a man flanked by two guards, one of them was the Governor himself. Sirius lifted his eyes to the group and they widened as he realised who was visiting him, he stood, leaning on the table for support as pain and sorrow filled his face. "Tom." He whispered with such heartrending hope that Remus felt his stomach twist painfully.

"Sirius." Tom replied just as softly, looking at his ex-lover carefully. "It's been a long time."

"It has." Sirius' eyes flicked to the guards surrounding their table, Remus gave him a small smile and stepped out of ear shot while keeping the pair under intense watch. Tom dismissed the Governor and his fellow with a wave of his hand, they backed away with nods and disappeared back through the doors. "What are you doing here? The press will massacre you if they found out."

"My father will stop them printing anything. I had to come, I had to see it for myself and try to put the rumours to rest." Tom paused, gazing at his ex with expressionless eyes. "I want to know why." He said suddenly and watched as Sirius' eyes widened. "Why did you murder those people? Why did you betray everything I thought you stood for?"

"T-Tom…come on, you know me! You know I would never-"

"I _thought_ I knew you, Black." Tom said sharply, cutting off Sirius' stuttered speech. "I thought I knew who I had married….I thought it was all too good to be true. You were just far too perfect. I should have seen it, my father did but I was blinded by my love for you." He choked a little on his words and rubbed at his eyes, Sirius stared at him with wide-eyed incomprehension. "When we seperated I thought it was because you didn't want to hurt me but now I know different, you did it because you never really loved me, did you? You were always a lying, cheating coward."

"Tom…Please…" Sirius' voice came out as a soft, broken whisper as the pain of Tom's words sank into him like the cold bite of a knife blade. "I-I didn't do it. I swear on everything we had together that I never betrayed James and Lily! I never murdered those people! Please, at least _you _have to believe me!"

Tom shook his head sadly. "And still you continue to lie to me! I think it's become so much of a habit that you have actually convinced yourself that you really are innocent. You're insane, you know that don't you?" Sirius bit down on his bottom lip and lowered his head, he said nothing as he stared down at his hands and watched them twist each other helplessly. "The other reason I'm here is to give you these." He pushed a file full of paper towards Sirius who stared at them in numb shock. "Divorce papers." Tom said quietly.

"I-I…" Sirius stuttered himself into silence before forcing himself to look up, he gazed into Tom's eyes before a small, bitterly painful smile pulled at his lips. "Ok." He said and pulled the papers towards himself, he opened the file and scanned them rapidly before holding out his hand for a pen, he felt one placed into his palm and looked up to see Remus standing above them.

"Here, use mine." Remus said quietly and smiled a little before walking back to his place.

Sirius swallowed hard and bent his head to sign his name on the dotted line, his signature was shaky and barely legible but he managed to do it, even though the pain in his heart was worse than any physical wound he would ever suffer. He took a moment to stare down at his name before closing the file and pushing the papers back at his now ex-husband. "You don't deserve to be tied down to me." He said harshly.

"No, I don't." Tom replied, his voice wavering a little so he had to clear his throat and look away from the broken man before him.

Sirius looked down at his left hand, for a moment he stared at the ring that had signified his devotion but now, for the first time in nearly a year, he pulled it free and dropped the golden ring onto the table. "Take this back." he said. "It's yours, you paid for it."

"What will I do with it?" Tom asked blankly, almost as if he was only now realising what it was that was actually happening.

"I dunno, sell it or give it to the next person you fall in love with."

Tom picked it up and stared at it for a long, hard second before dropping it back onto the table. "I don't want it. You're a murderer, Black. Everything you touch is destroyed, I hope you rot in hell." He stood up and turned away, he paused momentarily before speaking in a cold voice. "I know what you did on James Potter's Stag night, I've known for years. I only wanted to ignore it or put it down to some stupid, drunken mistake but I can't do that anymore. I only wish I had told poor Lily what her husband and his best friend got up to behind her back."

Sirius' eyes widened, a sudden flash of memory returning to him of that time, he saw James falling into him drunkenly, heard their laughter as they stumbled and sang in loud, obnoxious voices. He remembered, very clearly, that he had pushed his best friend into the wall and kissed him hard on the mouth, ignoring the whisper of guilt and shame in the corners of his mind, ignoring the look of shock and hurt surprise on James' face. He had never even dreamed that they had been spotted, least of all by his own boyfriend at the time. "Tom…I-I'm sorry…" He whispered hopelessly as he watched Tom send him a pain-filled glare that broke his heart all over again.

Remus stood just behind Sirius and watched helplessly as he buried his face in his hands, the links of his handcuffs tinkling lightly in the heavy silence. Suddenly there was soft laughter, one of the guards who had refused to go to Sirius' aid when he was attacked in the showers walked over with a cockily arrogant smirk on his face. "Aw, did your boyfriend break up with you?" He said in a mock baby voice, leaning over Sirius until their faces were inches apart. "You don't deserve happiness, Black. All this 'I'm innocent' crap is just a bunch of lies and you know it, you're as guilty as anyone else in this shit hole." Slowly Sirius lowered his hands and looked into the man's eyes, his own were so dark the colour seemed indistinguishable. He looked back at the golden ring on the table and picked it up, he folded it in his hand and held onto it as he stood up, almost head butting the guard in the process. "Oh, running away are we?" The guard hissed, still wearing that leering grin. "Or are you going off to find comfort in your new fuck buddies, I'm sure they'd love to help you through this difficult time. I saw what they did to you and how much you loved it, you disgusting queer."

Remus felt his nails digging deep into his palms as he frowned furiously at his co-worker, he reached out and took hold of Sirius' arm as a terrifying look entered his eyes. His face was utterly blank, his eyes as lifeless as a dolls and he was looking as if his soul had exited his body. "Come on, Black, let's get you back to your cell." He said softly, attempting to diffuse the situation before Sirius could do some damage, he was certain that he would easily be able to kill this man if he wanted to.

"Stop protecting him, Lupin!" The guard snapped suddenly, turning furious eyes onto his fellow guard. "He's scum and doesn't deserve to be happy! He's in here for a reason! What, do you fancy him or something?"

Remus turned to him, eyes narrowed. "It doesn't matter to me if he's innocent or not, Henry, it matters that he is still a human being and his sexuality should never come into it. No one deserves this kind of treatment and by insulting him the way you have been insults every other homosexual person…including myself."

Henry gaped at him for a full minute before his face twisted in an angry snarl. "Well, that explains a lot, I suppose you homo's need to stick together. Shouldn't be surprised really. I'm sure if your father found out he'd disown you."

Remus laughed softly, his eyes brightening. "My father does know, so does my mother. They knew before I did and weren't in the least surprised when I finally plucked up the courage to tell them, they're perfectly fine with it, so long as I'm happy. I can understand why you feel the need to bully others, you're exhibiting signs of latent homosexual desires, trust me when I say don't suppress it, it only makes it more difficult to come to terms with it. Curiosity is not a sin."

Henry flushed bright red, his hands curled into fists at his side as he fell into such a rage that he was rendered speechless. Remus grinned triumphantly before turning away and guiding Sirius back towards the prison block, before he reached the door he paused and looked back over his shoulder, Henry was glaring at him and baring his teeth, his friends had gathered behind him protectively. Remus sighed, his smile falling from his face and frown marring his forehead.

"You're going to end up in trouble for that little piece of sass." Sirius said finally, making Remus turn to him in mild surprise. "That guy isn't going to let you get away with it."

Remus shrugged carelessly, his smile brightened and he chuckled softly to himself. "What is he going to do? If he so much as lays a finger on me I can go to my superiors and he knows it. He needed to be taken down a peg or two and not using violence." He gave Sirius a side long glance and saw him frowning down at his feet as they walked. "Look, I'm really sorry for what happened."

"No…it's fine. I should have expected it to be perfectly honest. Still, as much as I love Tom I can understand why he hates me." Sirius' smile was bitter as he looked up at Remus. "Now at least he can move on and be happy, I don't think he was ever truly happy with me any way."

Remus shook his head softly as they continued down the corridor, deaf to the shouts, pleads and anger of the other inmates around them. Remus surreptitiously watched Sirius from the corner of his eye and realised that he had lost a certain sparkle that had once surrounded him, he realised suddenly that the very last of his hope had finally been destroyed. Something vital had died within him as he had signed the divorce papers and now he seemed to have become slightly less than the man he had been, as if everything that had happened to him had finally crushed him.

Sirius was left alone in his cell, he sat down on his bed and gazed down at the ring, Remus had somehow found a small bit of string on which he could hang it and he did so before tying it around his neck and tucking it beneath his shirt, he rested his hand over it and lay back on his bed with his other hand behind his head. For a long time he stared up at the ceiling and listened to all the noises around him, it didn't take long before he fell into a deep, troubled sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Well, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy. Also, I will keep putting in little memory/dream bits in italics occasionally to give the characters a little bit of history and show how much they're haunted by their pasts.**

"_Sirius, hey, Sirius?"_

_Sirius lifted his eyes and saw James Potter peering at him over the back of his chair, his school tie was tied around his head like a bandanna and he was grinning brightly. "What is it?" Sirius whispered back, his eyes flicking to the front of the class room where their teacher was frowning down at a pile of homework. _

"_Come out with me after lights out, I need to get drunk."_

"_What, again? Come on man, you still haven't recovered from last weekend."_

"_Pfft, I can handle my liquor, it was only that Longbottom's 'Home Brew' may as well have been poison."_

"_You drank so much you spent all night in the toilet." Sirius reminded him with a small smirk. "You know Professor Hart was furious when he discovered all that vomit all over our dorms."_

_James' face twisted into a bitter expression. "I got the cane for that one. So, you up for it? I was going to ask Longbottom and a couple of others if they wanted to come as well."_

_Sirius paused and looked down at his work book and the sums written in it, he smiled and returned his eyes to his best friends, a small blush on his cheeks. "I'll go, but only if you invite Sebastian Abbott…"_

_James' smirk widened. "Ah, so he's the one whose pants you wish to rip off. Ok, it's a deal. Seb is on the Rugby team as well, I'll ask him later tonight during practice. I think he's got quite the crush on you as well, when you're hanging around the changing rooms he seems to have great difficulty in keeping his eyes to himself." He winked roguishly at Sirius and turned back around to face the front of the class room, Sirius bent his head, smiling to himself as he thought about the coming weekend that would involve alcohol, his best friend and Sebastian Abbott's incredibly sexy arse._

"_Mister Potter, please remove your tie from around your head and wear it properly!"_

"_Yes Miss." James sang lightly as he removed his tie from his head and put it back around his throat, Sirius chuckled into his book as he continued completing the complicated sums written on the board._

Sirius opened his eyes slowly and gave vent to a heavy sigh, he lifted his arm and rested it over his eyes so that he blocked out most of the light that poured into his cell from the barred windows. He listened to the sound of waves crashing against rock somewhere far below him, he heard the cries of gulls join the cries and mad laughter from his fellow inmates. By now all these sounds were as familiar as a mother's lullaby, he had been imprisoned for months, he had very rapidly lost count of the time that had passed and the only way he had to gauge that any time had passed at all was if he asked his new friend Remus Lupin. He was continuously plagued by nightmares, he woke up most nights and was forced to muffle his sudden scream of terror in his pillow, he had no wish to alert anyone that he was afraid of anything. Showing weakness only got you hurt in this place, that was one of the first things he had learned, much to his cost. After his first violent encounter with the Big Lad's he had been accosted several times more, trapped in the laundry room, the library and once again in the showers. Each time he had fought he came away battered, bruised and wincing in pain. Sometimes he found himself wondering if it would hurt less if he stopped struggling but then, one day during exercise, he would find himself looking at the men who had been cowed by Boardman and his Lad's and he would endeavour to keep fighting, even if it killed him. He would come to the conclusion that a few bruises and a headache from where his head had been smashed into something hard, was a small price to pay for not giving in.

Remus spent as much time with Sirius as he could, he still didn't quite understand why the man fascinated him so much but he was now almost certain that he had been falsely imprisoned. Sirius' story was one of sorrow and heartbreak, it had been painful to listen to and when he had heard the soft catch of grief in his voice when he had described the scene of his best friend's death Remus had automatically placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. The tender motion had surprised them both, Sirius had looked up at him with wide, startled eyes, his hair falling before them and obscuring them momentarily as he stared at Remus. Remus had quickly withdrawn his hand and avoided that intense gaze, it was like being scorched by fire. Sirius had spoken then, his voice soft and steady; "You're too kind to be working here, Remus. You should leave before this place has a chance to corrupt you for good." And before Remus could answer Sirius had stood and walked away, he had watched him go with a strange mixture of emotions coursing through him, confusing him and making him question his whole career path.

Sirius sighed as he slid out of bed and stretched his aching muscles; it felt as if he had slept all night on stone. He winced as his back cracked and reminded him that he wasn't a teenager anymore, after relieving himself in the toilet he flushed and washed his hands in the sink before moving back to his bed and sitting down, he wrapped his arms around himself and lowered his head, his eyes closed and he let his mind drift back over his past and escape his situation for a while.

Remus walked towards Sirius' cell, he held a newspaper in one hand and hummed softly to himself as he ignored the other prisoner's, his smile was wide but he seemed unaware of it as he stopped before Sirius' door and tapped lightly on the bars. Sirius looked up and a slow smile spread across his face, the expression one of affection with a hint of light-hearted good humour, one only Remus ever saw. "Hello Mr. Prison Officer, have you come to finally use those handcuffs on me? You know how I adore our kinky little sex-games."

Remus chuckled softly and lifted up the newspaper. "Unfortunately I have rounds so our kinky sex games will have to wait, however, I brought you this newspaper so that you can do the crossword."

Sirius' eyes lit up and he moved forward eagerly. "Anything to break up the tedium, my friend." He said and took the paper Remus handed to him and then the pen, he lifted the paper and spotted a photograph on the front page. It was a perfectly ordinary photo, it showed a street full of people in a shopping centre that was going to be knocked down, his eyes slowly began to widen as they fixed upon a painfully familiar face.

Remus watched in fascinated awe as Sirius' face twisted from a small half-smile into an expression of mixed rage and dawning realisation. "Sirius…? What's wrong?" He asked tentatively.

"H-him." Sirius whispered in a hoarse voice, his eyes glittering behind the curtain of his fringe as he lifted them to Remus'. "H-he…he's alive…he escaped…I-I…I thought he was d-dead…Oh…oh god…" He looked back down at the paper before suddenly tearing it to shreds; Remus lifted an eyebrow but waited patiently for Sirius to explain himself.

Sirius' heart beat rapidly in his chest, excitement, terror and rage engulfed him and left no room for thought. He tore the picture up until he had the face of Peter Pettigrew in his hand, he let the rest float lazily to the floor as he turned his back on Remus. His tongue darted out and he wet his lips nervously, his hand shook so violently he had to crumple the picture in his fist to prevent himself from dropping it. It came to him in a sudden bright flash; he had to escape. He had to do the impossible and escape Azkaban to commit the crime he had been imprisoned for in the first place. There was no doubt in his mind, he had no choice. There was no other way he could assuage the guilt that plagued him since James' death, he needed to get his revenge on the coward who had destroyed everything. He had to murder his old friend.

"Sirius? What's wrong? Who is that?" Remus asked, his fingers wrapping themselves around the bars as he gazed in at his prisoner.

"Peter Pettigrew." Sirius breathed and lifted eyes that had gone the colour of stone, his hands shook as he clamped his fist around the picture and his face twisted into a furious sneer. "The man who had my best friend murdered." He growled in a low, menacing voice. "The man I assumed was dead. The man who allowed me to go to prison for his crimes. The man I'm going to get my revenge on."

Remus looked taken aback by this declaration, before he had considered his words they slipped past his lips; "But you're in here and he's out there…how on earth are you going to get your revenge?"

Sirius moved gracefully towards the bars, his hands rose and he closed his fingers around Remus'. He met his eyes and pressed his forehead against the bars. "With your help, if you're willing." He whispered so softly Remus had trouble hearing his words.

Remus felt fear rise in his throat like bile, his eyes widened but he couldn't bring himself to look away from Sirius' intense gaze. He couldn't move a single muscle in his body and had to force his words through numb lips. "You want my help?" He asked.

"I do. I need your help, Remus. Please."

Sirius' voice was soft and Remus wanted nothing more than to give in to his pleading tone, he knew the man was innocent, every instinct in his body told him he spoke the truth but following the law was so deeply ingrained in him that he had difficulty considering the proposal. "But I-I…I'm supposed to be keeping you inside, if I get caught I'll end up right in here alongside you! My dad would be furious…I…I would break my mother's heart…I'm not sure if I can-"

Sirius' face fell, a flicker of pain crossed it and he finally released Remus and turned away. "I understand, it's just that there's no way I can prove my innocence if I don't get my hands on the little rat-bastard. I need his confession to free me. I only wondered if you'd help me but if you don't want to that's fine." He forced a smile onto his lips and bent to begin picking up the paper that had scattered all over his cell. "I'm sorry for asking, it was wrong of me."

Remus sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "I know you're innocent, Sirius. I don't know why but I know you're speaking the truth…" he licked his lips again and re-opened his eyes, he knew that what he was going to agree to was stupid, dangerous and would probably end horribly but he couldn't allow this man to rot away in prison for crimes he didn't commit. It was cruel and horrible and the injustice made fury boil inside him. If Sirius stayed locked up he would eventually be destroyed by the guards or the big lad's or probably a mixture of them both. Remus couldn't live with himself if he allowed him to suffer any more. "Alright."

Sirius froze, bent at the waist as his fingers brushed a piece of newspaper, slowly, very slowly, he straightened and turned around. He dared not hope too much but he couldn't stop the slow kindling of fire in his belly at the thought of freedom and revenge. "What did you say?" He asked in a soft, disbelieving voice.

"I said; alright. I'll help you." Remus replied just as quietly, still feeling nervous but also a faint sense of excitement. He had been brought up by good, law abiding parents who had instilled in him the importance of wrong and right but here was a confusing situation. It was wrong to break a convicted felon out of prison but Sirius was imprisoned unjustly. It played havoc with his emotions but he felt worse when he considered just leaving Sirius in prison. "I'll help you escape and find Pettigrew." He said, his voice becoming firmer as the decision solidified in his mind.

Sirius moved too quickly for Remus to react, he reached through the bars and dragged him as close as he could before planting a soft, chaste, very awkward kiss on his lips. He drew away, his eyes overly bright and a tiny smile playing about his mouth, his cheeks were a little too pink and he backed off a little when he realised what he had done. "I-I…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to impose…I just…" He trailed off into silence and chuckled to himself, rubbing his hands nervously. "I sound like a teenager."

Remus smiled a little, still able to feel the lingering warmth of Sirius' skin against his own and his lips tingling from their brief contact. "It's not a problem…You got a little excited."

"Yeah, that's it." Sirius replied, his eyes darting away before coming back to rest on Remus for one electric moment, Remus felt his heart triple its speed, his skin erupted into goosebumps and he couldn't seem to break the eye contact. Silence stretched out and half of Remus wanted Sirius to kiss him again, even though the bars made it uncomfortable. He wanted to open the cell door and find out just how good Sirius was at kissing, but he didn't. He only smiled a strange little smile that felt awkward while Sirius cleared his throat and began busying himself with tidying up his cell, as if he had to find something to take his mind off of the situation. "Er…thanks…" Sirius said finally, breaking the odd tension that now seemed to bind the two of them together. "Thanks for helping me."

"it's fine…you deserve help, I-" He broke off as shouts echoed down the corridor, Sirius moved to the front of his cell and tried to look out.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know but I had better check it out…we'll come up with a plan later." He smiled and turned away from Sirius, avoiding his intense gaze as he took several steps away.

Sirius watched Remus walk away, his eyes glued to the way his muscles moved beneath the fabric of his uniform, he smirked to himself as he imagined what they would look like without that irritating covering of cloth. "Never been one for a man in uniform before but now I think I'm beginning to see the attraction." He whispered softly to himself, his smile widening and brightening his whole face. "Remus Lupin; you're an odd man."


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Ok, so I tried to do as much research on guns as I could, especially guns used by the British police force as I know literally nothing about them. Whether they would be stored on a boat in a high-security prison, I'm not sure, so, if not, allow me this little piece of artistic licence. Please enjoy as Sirius finally escapes, more action is soon to come. :) It sounds like an easy escape but is it really? Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, you are my reason for writing.**

Remus ran through the corridors towards the guard's break room, his heart hammered in his chest as if it were trying to escape yet he continued doggedly forward. The room door loomed ahead of him and he slammed it open dramatically, several of his co-workers looked up in surprise from their various activities and Henry sent him a searing glare which he ignored. "There's…there's something wrong with-with B-Black…" He gasped, eyes wide in his pale, frightened face. "Attempted…suicide…"

Henry stood with a sigh. "Alright, we can't have him die on us, it'll look bad." He said irritably. "Let's get him to the doctor." Remus nodded but said nothing as Henry moved past him, he turned and followed his fellow guard out into the corridor and together they walked towards Black's block. "You know I'm going to get you back for those comments you made." Henry hissed softly as they walked down several flights of stairs. "You won't know what hit you."

Remus smirked to himself until Henry turned to look at him and he covered it with a serious expression. "You can't touch me, Henry." He replied amicably. "You know what I could tell the press, if you touched me I would destroy you with only a few words."

Henry sneered viciously and spun around, pushing Remus into the bars of someone's cell, he could hear the prisoner chuckling from somewhere in the dark. Henry's eyes glittered darkly in his face as his hand fisted in Remus' uniform shirt. "You think I'm scared of you? You're just a filthy nobody. I have connections in the upper echelon, I could have you hung, drawn and quartered you cock sucker."

"You underestimate me, Henry. I wouldn't do that if I were you." Remus replied just as softly. He could feel the prisoner behind him moving in the shadows, he didn't like the feeling of having someone so dangerous at his back. He showed no fear to Henry however, he merely met his gaze steadily, staring him down until he released him with a hiss and began to move on. Remus sighed inwardly and tried to move away from the bars but someone had hold of his shirt, he yanked himself free, tearing the fabric in the process and spun around to find himself staring into an emaciated, grinning face crowned by two insane eyes. He turned away, ignoring the soft giggling from the inmate and followed Henry once again. The rest of the journey was done in silence, Remus walking a little behind Henry with one hand caressing the handle of his baton as if he were itching to use it on the back of the man's head.

Black's cell appeared, at first, to be empty. Henry frowned into the shadows before finally spotting his huddled figure lying in a ball on the floor. "Looks like we were too late…shame." He muttered in an uncaring voice as he reached into his pocket and withdrew his keys, Remus watched intently as the door opened with a squeal of un-oiled hinges and Henry moved into the cell. "Black? You alive?" He gave the prisoner a kick with the tip of his boot and received no response, slowly he crouched down and reached for his neck to check for a pulse but before his fingers could so much as brush his long, black hair he felt an iron grip on his wrist. Black rolled over to look at him with a grin.

"Nice of you to stop by, sir." He said before something hard and painful hit him in the back of his neck, he went down like a sack of potatoes while Sirius scrambled to his feet.

"Come on, get dressed quickly. We don't have much time before someone will come and check on him." Remus said softly, looking down at the officer with pitiless eyes and his truncheon in one hand.

Sirius began stripping off his worn prison garments, dropping them carelessly to the floor as he stripped Henry of his uniform and began to don it. "You know, that was a brilliant shot. You've got some strength in you." He said absently as he buttoned up his shirt.

"I had to learn self defence." Remus replied absently as he began to tie Henry up securely and gag him with his own sock. He took a roll of silver duct tape out of his pocket and taped the sock inside his mouth to ensure he wouldn't be able to scream for help, hoping it would give them more time to escape. "It's an essential part of the training. Right, are you done?" He looked up to see Sirius watching him intently, a small smile on his lips that made Remus acutely uncomfortable. He flushed and looked away as he picked up Henry's hat and held it out to Sirius. "Put this on and pull it low over your eyes, tie your hair up as well."

Sirius did as instructed and finally they moved quietly into the corridor, the cell door clanged shut behind them and made Remus jump a little before he locked it with Henry's keys. "Right, shall we get going? Remember to act normally."

Sirius tipped his cap and smirked. "I can blend in with any crowd, Remus old chap; it was an essential part of _my_ training." He said cockily and Remus, despite his nerves, despite his terror, chuckled.

They walked together in silence through the prison, past cells inside of which prisoners slept soundly, Sirius' eyes darted from side to side as he searched for potential threats. He felt the familiar tension that sat between his shoulder blades like a weight, his muscles stood out in hardened cords as he fought the urge to simply run. The hairs on his body all stood to attention, his mind focussed only on the task at hand. He could feel Remus' presence at his side and feel his fear on top of his own. Every sense was on high alert as he strode with false confidence through the prison, his stomach twisted into complicated knots and his breathing sounded far too loud to his own ears. Their ploy had to work; it had to because he simply couldn't dream of spending any more time stuck in the hell hole of Azkaban. It would destroy him. He longed for freedom, he longed for the smell of fresh air without the taint of the sea, he longed to hear laughter that wasn't cruel. He longed for the feel of Peter's throat in his fingers as he choked the life from the traitorous little shit. His hands curled into fists at his sides, his eyes focussed on a point in front of him as they finally reached the Guard's exit. Remus lifted a hand and pushed open the first door, they shared a look before taking a breath and stepping into a well lit, comfortable corridor with doors leading off at intervals. Remus unlocked the bars of the next secure door and they entered it properly.

It was oddly easy. No one paid either of them any mind, even when they passed in the hallways. The guards would barely even spare either of them a glance. Sirius' disguise seemed to put them at total ease, obviously no one expected a prisoner to attempt to get free by using such a flimsy seeming costume. Occasionally someone would share a soft greeting but mostly they were left alone and they reached the door that would lead them outside to the little quay where the boats were docked without mishap. Remus rummaged around in his pocket as they descended the winding stair case, finally withdrawing a set of keys to a prison motorboat. "I got these from Henry when he accosted me earlier." He said absently, smirking in a self-satisfied way that made Sirius chuckle. "He was so stupid to have them just hanging on his belt where anyone could just reach in and take them."

"You're much sneakier than I first gave you credit for, Mr. Lupin. Colour me impressed."

"Why thank you Mr. Black." Remus smiled and spotted a suitable boat. "Let's take this one, it's in the best position for us to have an easy escape."

"Will those keys work in that boat?"

"Yes. Every higher level guard is given a standard key that fits all these boats, like a skeleton key type of thing. It's so that they can come and go as they please, allowing them to go and pick up prisoners or bring across visitors from the mainland." Remus moved over the creaking boards of the jetty as the sea lapped eagerly at the huge wooden pillars beneath him, Sirius moved a little more carefully, unsure of the flimsy seeming boards would hold his weight. "Come on." Remus whispered, gazing nervously up the stair case they had just come from, a frown creasing his face. "I want to be gone before they raise the alarm."

Sirius moved himself a bit quicker and reached the boat before hopping in after Remus, they sat down and Remus started the engine. The roar echoed far too loudly through the silent dock, Sirius winced but said nothing as Remus cast one last wary look back over his shoulder and began slowly manoeuvring them out of the cave-like tunnel connecting them to the open sea.

The boat slid smoothly through the tunnel, the noise of the engine echoing far too loudly off of the walls. Sirius looked back behind him as the jetty faded into shadows; he saw no one following but couldn't let his guard down. Their disappearance would be noted soon, and when it was they would be two of the most wanted men in Britain. He swallowed nervously and turned to Remus who was frowning in concentration as he steered the boat through the obstacles of rocks and debris. Finally they turned a corner and Sirius felt his heart stutter in his chest; up ahead was a semi-circle of light. The light was the dull grey of early morning but to Sirius it seemed as bright as a summer's day. His fingers tightened convulsively on the side of the boat as they sped towards the exit at ever increasing speed. His eyes widened as they passed beneath a vicious looking gate and out into open water.

Remus shivered as they were suddenly deluged in freezing cold rain that hit their faces like thousands of tiny, stinging ants. Sirius turned back and looked up at the prison outlined in black against the dull, steely grey sky. Azkaban was a massive monster, its eyes numerous little specks of darker black against the jagged stone that encased it. Its mouth the tunnel they had just escaped from, its crown was the bare rocks of cold stone. He felt his heart lighten and a smile twitched his lips, slowly it spread and he gave vent to a loud, sharp bark. He was free. Finally free again after months and months of imprisonment. Before he could turn around and look forward, towards the distant shore of Scotland, he heard a keening screech. He jumped, eyes widening in horror as he turned back to the rocky island where the noise was coming from. "What on earth-" He shouted over the noise from their boat.

Remus gave him a grim look and put the boat into higher gear. "I think they may have noticed that you've escaped." Sirius watched as several boats began to roar out of the cave, heading towards them at great speeds. He looked around and spotted a locked compartment in the back of the boat, with difficulty he scrambled around and shifted awkwardly into the back. He stood up and gave the lock on the box a hard kick, the lock snapped off easily and he hefted the lid up. Remus peered briefly over his shoulder with a frown on his face. "What are you doing?" He asked loudly.

"There are guns here." Sirius replied and took out a Heckler and Koch MP5 semi-automatic, he grinned triumphantly. "Now this is what I'm talking about."

"Sirius…is this such a good idea? Those things are dangerous! If you make a mistake you could end up shooting me."

"Don't worry; I know what I'm doing. Just try and keep her steady."

Remus frowned irritably, he wasn't entirely sure if Sirius was able to use a gun in a boat while the sea was as rough as it was but he had no choice but to trust him. He bit down on his bottom lip and continued to drive.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Because the last chapter was so short I wrote another one just for you. :) please enjoy my lovelies. (And again, I apologise for the gun scenes, I have no idea whether it's realistic or not as these scenes are mostly guess work. I can find nothing that talks about using guns on moving boats in a rough sea…sorry about that)**

Sirius squinted through the salt spray that stung every inch of his exposed skin, he could feel his eyes burning where the water had got into them but forced the discomfort aside as he took aim at the lead boat, he had no wish to kill anyone, after all, these men were only mostly doing their jobs and he had no grudge against them, he only hoped that they could swim. He propped one foot against the back of the boat and pressed the trigger. The boat he had aimed at seemed to freeze as it bounced through the waves, the men inside it had time to widen their eyes before the engine exploded. Sirius watched them all dive over the sides and into the relative safety of the churning sea. He was unaware of the mad grin that split his face as he cocked the gun again and waited for the next boat to appear.

Remus heard the explosion and fought the urge to turn around, he could only hope that Sirius wasn't killing anyone. Most of the men he had worked with were simply people trying to make a living, they didn't deserve to die. He winced as once again there was an explosion immediately followed by a loud crow of laughter from Sirius. "Be careful back there!" Remus shouted over the noise, a frown marring his forehead as the wind and rain and sea spray whipped his voice right from his lips as he swerved to avoid a large outcropping of rocks. Sirius very nearly lost his balance just as a bullet whizzed past his face, he waved his arms desperately as he attempted to right himself without letting go of his gun, when he was finally steady again he turned and fired a few more rounds at his pursuers. "Sirius! I see land!" Remus cried, hoping that Sirius heard his warning before they beached themselves.

Sirius spun on the spot, dropping to the deck as another round of bullets flew around him, he managed to squeeze his way back to the front beside Remus and peer out over the edge front of the boat, his eyes widened as he spotted the shore looming out of the mist like a shadowy giant. After a seconds hesitation he grabbed the back of Remus' head and pushed it down so that it was nearly in his lap, with his free hand he covered his own head and squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

Their boat leapt through the waves like a huge, white dolphin. For a split second they were in the air, flying above the water before they finally landed with a gut wrenching crash and a huge splash of wet sand. The boat skidded sideways over the small beach before finally coming to rest on its side and spilling its occupants out onto the beach. Sirius lay still, his chest heaving as he tried to get his breath back, he could hear Remus coughing and gagging as he tried to clear his mouth of salt water and grit. Slowly Sirius forced his eyes open as the noise of approaching boats sent more adrenaline pumping through his exhausted body, he rolled onto all fours, ensuring he remained hidden by the bulk of their own stolen boat before crawling towards Remus. "Follow me and keep low." He hissed as he moved over to a small pile of scattered weaponry, he armed himself, choosing smaller, easier to hide guns. He shoved two into his belt and turned to hand one to Remus who held it as if it was going to bite him. "Just stick it in your belt for now." Sirius hissed rapidly, a frown of irritation on his face. "I'll teach you how to use it later. Come on." He waved a hand and Remus did as he was told before following.

They kept themselves hidden for as long as possible, crawling around and over rocks, sticking to the shadow of the cliffs. Sirius felt the sharp rocks tear open his trousers, his skin and his palms were grazed and bloody. He could hear Remus' heavy breathing at his back and continued to check his stolen guns, paranoid that he would lose them and be caught weaponless. Although he was proficient in Judo, ju-jitsu and kick boxing he hated to be weaponless, it made him feel vulnerable. He continued to turn back and check on Remus' progress, he had assumed the man would be unable to keep up with him but obviously he had been wrong. Remus had a frown of determination on his dirty, tired looking face and Sirius' admiration for him grew ten-fold. He smiled grimly to himself as he reached an area of cliff that looked as if it would be easiest to climb; there was no other way up. He turned to Remus. "We have to go up now; this is the lowest point in the cliff face, if we don't do it now we'll never get up there." He whispered in a low voice. He watched Remus' eyes move to the cliff face, his face paled beneath his covering of sand and dirt and he swallowed.

"Really? It's very high up."

"We have no choice, unless you'd like to go back and apologise to the guards." He arched an eyebrow imperiously.

"I could always tell them you forced me to do it." Remus growled in return and Sirius flashed him a wide smirk, grey eyes sparkling with badly suppressed glee. "You're loving this, aren't you?"

"Oh yeah." Sirius breathed, his tongue darting between his lips as his eyes sparkled in excitement behind his sopping wet hair. "This is the stuff I live for."

Remus smiled and shook his head in exasperation, he didn't fully understand Sirius but he had to admit that the man was exciting. Sirius had a way of making even the most dangerous stunts seem fun and exhilarating rather than just plain stupid. He made Remus feel alive as he never had before, as if his whole life previously had been little more than a side-show and now it was really beginning. Sirius Black made him feel as if life was really something worth living rather than something to be struggled through, a monotonous train of the same things over and over until you died, unfulfilled and lonely. He watched as Sirius turned to face the cliff, moving into a low crouch before grasping the first handholds and hoisting himself off of the ground. His boots scrabbled at the rock face before finally finding purchase, Remus watched him climb before following him. Below them the beach lay like a crescent moon made entirely of sand, Remus forced himself to only look up at Sirius' feet, even though occasionally he would send debris raining down into his face. He could feel the height calling to him, a siren song of death and he ignored it, forcing his limbs to work even as they ached with exhaustion. He gritted his teeth and watched as Sirius' fingers finally reached the cliff top, he sighed softly to himself in relief before a coarse shout echoed up to them from the sand below, Remus risked looking down and spotted a group of guards stood below them, one of which had a gun aimed at them. He felt a sickening jolt somewhere in the region of his stomach just as a loud bang shattered the morning silence, he winced and heard a sudden cry of pain above him. Sirius slipped, causing a small avalanche of small stones to fall onto Remus' head and shoulders, he gasped as Sirius' boot nearly hit him in the side of the head. Terror hit him like a cold knife in the heart as it leapt into his throat, his eyes widened as Sirius struggled to regain his balance, swearing and grunting as he somehow managed to regain his footing.

Remus sighed softly when Sirius finally pulled himself up onto the cliff top, he followed him slowly and heard the angry shouts from below. Cool grass brushed his finger tips and he felt a firm, hot hand grip his wrist and he was pulled up onto the safety of the cliff. He lay still, panting heavily and wincing at a sharp stabbing pain in his side, his eyes squeezed shut tightly. The cool rain soothed his burning skin, his fingers tingled from the strain he had put on them but he was alive. His chest still heaved with each breath, his bruised body still worked. Finally he opened his eyes and looked up at the sky, it was grey and the fine, misty rain was oddly pleasant.

"Come on, get up. We can't stop here." Sirius grunted from where he stood, Remus sighed heavily and managed, somehow, to haul himself upright. With Sirius' help he stood up and they began to move off in a seemingly random direction. Before them the rolling highlands stretched on in a seemingly endless landscape of hills, scrub and heather. The wind up here was sharp and cold and Remus felt it keenly, he shivered and watched as Sirius stumbled a little. "Are you alright?"

Sirius looked at him over his shoulder and smiled grimly. "Fine. Just keep moving, we don't have time to stop." He moved onward, refusing to be lured into anymore conversation.

They walked for what felt like miles, Remus had to force himself not keep asking where they were going or if there was a specific location. He concentrated on placing one foot before the other as the morning slowly turned into afternoon, the sun finally made a brief appearance between bouts of rain, it highlighted some of the most stunning scenery Remus had ever seen. Even in his exhaustion he couldn't help but appreciate the raw beauty surrounding him, he hadn't paid much attention to it the first time he had travelled this way, but then he had been in a car. There were no visible roads or pathways, Sirius seemed to be leading them further and further into the middle of nowhere until finally Remus could stand it no longer. "Where are we going?" He asked.

"A place I know of. It's not much but it's most likely to be deserted." Sirius replied, his voice sounding oddly strained, Remus frowned in concern as he once again noted the odd way he was walking, leaning slightly to one side.

A few more hours passed, the only indication of the passage of time was the movement of their shadows. Remus lifted his head and blinked around, ahead of them was a tiny little cottage. It was nestled in amongst some wind battered trees in a low gully. Its clean white paint stood out brightly against the mostly green scenery, Remus felt his heart cry out in joy when Sirius began making his way towards it. They began to follow an obvious path at last and Remus was unwittingly impressed by Sirius' sense of direction even in the midst of landscape that seemed to look exactly the same. They reached the winding stone path that led to the cottages front door when suddenly Sirius collapsed with an agonised grunt.

Remus ran to his side, falling to his knees before him and lifting his head so their eyes met. "What's wrong?" He gasped.

Sirius shook his head and attempted to stand, Remus steadied him with a firm hand on his shoulder. "We need to get to…to that house…" Sirius muttered through gritted teeth, he was keeping one arm wrapped firmly around his waist and Remus frowned.

"You're injured aren't you?" He asked, trying to pull Sirius' arm away from his body. "Show me where you're hurt!"

"No!" Sirius snapped, yanking himself out of Remus' hands with a growl. "We can't afford to stop until we get to safety! I'll deal with it when we're under cover, for now it'll have to be left alone."

Remus frowned angrily. "Ok then, just lean on me. I'll act as a crutch until we get to the house where I might be able to patch you up. However, if you die on me I'll kill you."

Sirius managed to snort laughter, even though he was swaying where he stood. His face was as white as a sheet but he still forced a grin onto his face. "You have a deal, Remus."

Remus nodded firmly and slipped under Sirius' arm, together they began making their slow way down the path and towards relative safety.

The cottage was empty but cosy. The door was painted a soft green colour that matched the surrounding countryside, the windows were old fashioned and lead-lined. Remus could see net curtains and pretty little window boxes filled to bursting with a bright array of flowers, Sirius gazed at the door a moment before lifting a foot and kicking it. It took two hard strikes to break the flimsy lock and force the door inwards, Sirius stepped inside, ducking under the low door way and into the dark hall way. Remus followed him, ensuring that he was close enough to catch him if he fell. Sirius paused in the corridor and looked around with dark, emotionless eyes. The hall was bedecked in paintings and photographs, some depicting a family with two sons and others only showing one boy. Sirius moved on, ignoring Remus' attempts at conversation until they reached the tiny living room, there was a fireplace and several green leather sofas. Sirius fell into one of these with a groan; Remus watched and noticed for the first time that his shaking hands were covered in crimson blood. It stained his shirt in a rapidly widening circle of colour.

Sirius tore off his shirt with a pained grunt to reveal his well toned chest and, in his lower abdomen, a large bullet hole. Remus gasped, eyes widening as he fell to his knees and bent to examine the wound. "When did this happen?!" He exclaimed in horror.

"When we were climbing, I nearly fell. Ah! The fuckers got me good!"

"You're lost a lot of blood…" Remus looked up into Sirius' white face, his eyes looked out at him from dark rings. He looked almost feverish. "I'll get the fire started, heat some water up and clean this wound…I…I will probably have to do a botch operation…" He paused, biting down hard on his bottom lip as he looked into Sirius' face. "I can't guarantee that you'll survive. If the bullet is lodged in the bone you could end up with Septicaemia or something…I…I've never done anything like this before. Really, we need a hospital."

"Oh yeah, that'll look good won't it! I'll just go into one and say; Hey! I'm a convicted murderer and was shot attempting to escape, please get this bullet out of me before I die and don't call the police, please." Sirius managed the snarky comment through gritted teeth and even, somehow, managed a sneer.

"Look, I'm only telling you the facts. I don't want to lie to you. I'm _not _a trained surgeon! This could go horribly wrong! I could even sever an artery if one hasn't been severed already, or I could end up maiming you in some awful way! This isn't a child's game, it's serious!"

Sirius smirked. "No…_I'm_ Sirius." He muttered and winced when Remus pressed down unnecessarily hard on his wound. "Ow!"

"Enough of the shitty puns." Remus growled and stood up. "You obviously know this place; is there any alcohol here?"

"Y-Yeah…in the cupboard over there…" Sirius lifted an arm and waved it vaguely in the direction of a dark wooden drinks cabinet; Remus moved over to it and yanked it open. It was well stocked with expensive looking drink, bottles that were so old they had gathered a good coating of dust. He removed a bottle of whiskey, it was appropriate since they were in Scotland after all, and returned to Sirius' side.

"I'm going to get some water and a bowl, some cloths and everything else I'll need. Don't move a muscle." Remus warned and moved off out into the hall, Sirius watched him go and set to opening the bottle. After a few moments of shaking hands and muttered curses he managed to get it open, he upended it and downed most of it in a few hard swallows. He winced and gasped, eyes watering as it burned its way down his throat. He lowered the bottle and his eyes swept the familiar room before landing upon a photograph depicting two boys of about twelve and thirteen years of age sat in the exact arm chair he was sat in, they were wearing identical outfits of shirts, blazers and smart trousers, topped off with very similar grins. The bottle paused before it reached his lips again as Sirius remembered the picture being taken, one holiday so many years ago. He remembered his mother berating him for not sitting still, his brother poking him with his elbow and him unable to prevent the giggles from escaping as he had been tickled. He smiled weakly and closed his eyes against the onrush of intense emotions. The bottle fell to the floor with a muffled thud, liquid poured out to stain the ancient green and grey rug as Sirius' form lay limply in the chair, his hand dangling over the edge of the arm chair and his fingers brushing the rapidly emptying bottle.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: A very, very short chapter here. I apologise for that as I haven't had much time for writing lately which is very annoying! Life, why must you get in the way of my creative pursuits?! Damn you! Anyway, I hope you enjoy what little I HAVE written and I do so love reviews. Any questions about this story feel free to PM me or whatever, I'll answer as best I can. Thank you to my lovely readers, I write for you my dears and so long as you're enjoying it so can I enjoy writing it.**

Sirius came around slowly, his swim back to consciousness felt like slow motion. He twitched his fingers first, ensuring that he could still move before slowly attempting to open his eyes. Bright light assaulted him violently and he groaned as he lifted a hand and covered his eyes, his head throbbed and there was pain somewhere in his lower abdomen that had him concerned. He licked his lips with a parchment-dry tongue and finally began to withdraw his hand, he blinked rapidly as his eyes adjusted to the change in light and he could finally take in his surroundings. He recognised the ceiling instantly, he remembered it from his childhood. He was lying on the carpet in his parent's holiday home. With the recognition came memories of being pursued and shot by the warden's of Azkaban, he groaned again and slid his hand down to his stomach where he felt rough bandages covering his wound, he turned his head to the side and saw another figure curled at his side. Remus' face was screwed up in his sleep; he wore a pained expression as if his dreams weren't very pleasant. Sirius lifted his free hand and pressed his thumb between his eyes, gently smoothing the frown away, the tender motion didn't go unnoticed by him. He let his hand drop back to his side and took time to gaze wonderingly at his companion, the sunlight highlighted his hair and turned it a lovely shade of golden brown and he noticed, for the first time, little flecks of grey here and there. Sirius liked it; it gave him a rather attractive scholarly quality, like a well educated man who had spent far too long in a very stressful situation. A small smile touched his lips as he ran his eyes over Remus' face, noting as many details as he could, like the tiny mole he had on the corner of his mouth or the thin laughter lines around his eyes or the fall of hair across his forehead.

Remus shifted and muttered something incomprehensible in his sleep and Sirius noticed something else; a thin, silvery scar that ran from the dip of his throat and beneath the stained collar of his uniform. Something about that scar made Sirius' stomach twist horribly; it was a scar that ran far too close to his jugular to be from some innocent childhood accident. He remembered what Remus had said about Fenrir Greyback and he saw the man in his mind's eye; the matted, filthy hair, the stained yellowing teeth that were bared in a grin and his blood crusted finger nails. Sirius shuddered, unable to help himself wondering what horrors the man had put Remus through as a child. Had he created that faint silver line? Had he marred what, to Sirius' mind, was perfection? Had he hurt Remus enough to nearly kill him? Sirius hated the thought. His own childhood had been full of verbal abuse, his parents had little to no time for him and they enjoyed making him feel small and useless whenever they could and his father had occasionally used his fists when he deemed that Sirius needed to be reminded of who was in charge, but he couldn't imagine the horrors of being kidnapped and nearly murdered by a psychotic nutter like Greyback. Silently he shook his head before finally attempting to get up.

Remus opened his eyes and yawned widely, he automatically reached out to the patch of carpet beside him and searched around for Sirius but found only empty air. His eyes widened and he turned his head, looking this way and that as he searched the living room only to find it empty. He stood up and paused, listening to the house until he heard someone moving around. He followed the noise through the hall way and into another room which turned out to be a rather nice kitchen. He spotted Sirius at the oven, frying eggs in a pan and whistling tunelessly. Remus felt a smile brighten his face and he moved into the kitchen, glancing up at the clock on the wall to gauge the time. The clock told him it was approximately quarter past eight in the morning, he moved closer to Sirius who seemed to sense him and turned around with a wide grin. He had a cigarette dangling from his lips, the blue-grey smoke drifting up towards the ceiling to hang over them like a poisonous cloud. "Morning lover-boy, how do you like your eggs?"

"Runny in the middle. Are you smoking?" Remus asked in mild surprise.

"Unfortunately it is one of my less than pleasant habits, I tried to give up in prison but it just wasn't going to happen apparently. I get very anti-social when I have no access to nicotine." Sirius puffed on his cigarette before returning his attention to the pan. "Thanks, by the way."

"For what?" Remus asked, bending down to look in a random cupboard.

"For doing your doctor-thing."

Remus looked up with a small smile. "It was actually easier than I thought it would be. Once you'd passed out I got you on the floor and did a sort of exploration operation but it turns out the wound was a through-and-through. The bullet is probably lodged somewhere in the cliff. It didn't look like it had done any serious damage so I cleaned it up and bandaged it."

"Well, thanks anyway." Sirius' smile widened momentarily, giving Remus a brief glimpse of what he had looked like as a teenager. His smile seemed to take years off of him and it made Remus' heart speed up.

"It's…it's not a problem." Remus mumbled, blushing furiously and hating himself for it. "I'm going to the toilet…" He glanced back up at the clock, worry creasing his brow before it cleared again and he turned away from Sirius who was just beginning to put the eggs on to some plates.

"Hurry back, breakfast is ready."

Remus turned and smiled at him, his hand resting on the kitchen door. "I look forward to it." He said with more emotion than he had intended, quickly he turned away and went to the downstairs bathroom he had discovered the previous night in his search for suitable equipment to help Sirius. The room contained a toilet and a sink, a tiny cupboard and little else. It had one single window that allowed sunlight to flood the quaint little room and make it bright and airy, Remus looked into the mirror above the sink and his face morphed into a much more serious expression. He sighed heavily, pressing his forehead against the cool glass and squeezing his eyes shut tightly. "What are you doing Remus John Lupin? You swore you wouldn't fall for anyone else! You swore it! You can't get weak, just because he's handsome. Don't let your guard down again…you know what happened last time." His eyes sprung open as memories threatened to creep into the fore of his mind, his brow furrowed as he fought with himself momentarily before he dipped one hand into the pocket of his trousers and withdrew a bottle of pills that looked dangerously depleted. He stared at them for a long moment before tipping one into the palm of his hand and downing it dry, he swallowed it and made a grimace of distaste before turning on the tap and running the water; he dipped his head and swallowed a mouthful before coming back up and wiping his hand across his mouth. After another worried glance at the plastic bottle in his fingers he pocketed it again and turned away from the mirror.

Once breakfast had been eaten and they were sat in opposite seats, relaxing after their meal, Remus brought up the subject that worried him most. "What are supposed to do now? I assume you do have a plan."

Sirius considered the man before him carefully before he swept hair casually from his eyes and leaned forward. "I need to go to London." He said softly. "I need to find out as much information about James and Lily's deaths as I can and for that I need to get into MI6."

Remus' eyes widened in his pale face, his jaw dropped and it took him a long moment of incomprehensible stuttering before he finally managed to regain control over his speech. "You-you want to break into a high security government building?! _Are you insane_?!"

"Perhaps." Sirius replied with a sly smirk. "You're forgetting, Remus, that I was a trained spy. My job was to break into high security government buildings and steal vital information; this isn't going to be any different from any other mission."

"B-But…but that was before you became one of the most wanted men in Great Britain! Everyone in that building is going to know your face!"

"And that's why we have to get hold of some disguises, Mr. Lupin." Sirius said matter-of-factly. "I know some guys who can help us, we'll have to do some recon in some rather dangerous underground criminal rings but they should be relatively easy to find, if you know what you're looking for."

"And I suppose you do?" Remus replied tersely.

"Of course. I wouldn't be very good at my job if I didn't have contacts."

"Well, in for a penny, in for a pound as the saying goes." Remus sighed heavily and rubbed at his tired eyes. "How are we going to get to London?"

"Well, we steal a car. It's not like we can just hop on a train, is it?"

"No, of course not…that would just be stupid."

"Enough of your sarcasm, Mr. Lupin." Sirius said in a mock stern voice before a vivacious grin exploded across his face like a firework. "This is going to be so much fun!"

Sirius' excitement was contagious, it made Remus feel like he was at school again and being dragged into something that was naughty but he couldn't help but do it because the adrenaline and the camaraderie was just far too addictive. He felt drawn to Sirius like a magnet, his personality was like a breath of fresh air and Remus found himself falling ever faster, even if he tried to put on the breaks it was useless. He was unable to keep himself from responding to that beautiful, charismatic smile, or to stop himself from admiring the man sat across from him. He had no idea what he was going to do if his feelings grew any further, he had been avoiding situations like this most of his life and, except for a few slip-ups, he had been doing pretty well until now. Sirius Black had him in a noose too tight for him to escape from and Remus knew that if he spent any more time with him his iron self control would slip and could potentially destroy everything. He didn't want to hurt him. He didn't want to take any risks but he had no idea how to stop it. He knew that if Sirius were to start something Remus wouldn't be able to refuse any advances, he was ultimately a weak man and especially weak when it came to the gorgeous Adonis who was slumped elegantly in a green arm chair and grinning as if he had not a care in the world.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Hi, a new chapter! Yay! Thank you to all my lovely reviewers, you make me impossibly happy! Please enjoy this chapter, I apologise for its length but again I haven't had much time to write recently (Real life is such a pain!). In this chapter I am trying to build up Sirius and Remus' relationship, they're slowly getting closer but I don't want it to happen suddenly. Enjoy my loves.**

They decided, after much intense debate, that they would lay low for a little while and allow the search for them to expand outwards. Right now it would be too dangerous to risk exposure, especially in such vast, open countryside. Sirius insisted that the house they were staying in wasn't marked on any maps and that they would be virtually impossible to find, especially since none of their original pursuers had any idea which way they had gone and eventually Remus was forced to agree. Sirius had far more experience with such situations than Remus did, he had no choice but to be dependent upon Sirius to know what he was doing.

Remus spent his time wandering around the house, for the first time he began to take note of the details such as photographs and when he found one depicting two very similar boys he realised where he was. The living room had a single TV which Sirius used to watch the news, checking it constantly for updates on the progress of the search for him. When Remus found the photo he turned to Sirius who was slouched in a chair, yawning as a reporter talked about some crisis in the Middle East. "Sirius, is this you?"

Sirius glanced briefly at the photo and shrugged. "Yeah. That's me and Regulus, my little brother. I thought my parents had erased as much evidence of my existence as possible, obviously I was wrong."

Remus smiled down at the photo and replaced it carefully back on its shelf. "You were cute." He muttered absently and returned to his seat beside Sirius.

"I still am, given half a chance."

"Says the man who has recently used a gun to blow up speed boats." Remus chuckled and Sirius flashed him a wide grin, revealing his teeth.

Something caught Sirius' attention on the news, his head snapped round and he waved at Remus to be quiet, a frown creased his brow as they showed a picture of a familiar man.

"_Today Lord Edwin Brown released the sad news of the death of his son. Thomas Brown was twenty-four when he was found hanging in his flat. It is unknown if this was a direct result of the recent scandal of his romantic involvement with notorious mass murderer Sirius Black, his father has denied comment when the BBC asked for information. After The Daily Mail discovered that Mr. Brown had once been married to Black but had broken off their relationship several months before his arrest, Brown was taken in by the police for questioning. The inquiries got them no closer to catching Black but some suggest that the harassment of the press and police contributed to Mr. Brown's unfortunate demise…"_

The remote control dropped from Sirius' numb fingers, his eyes widened and his lips parted in shock. He felt as if something heavy and hard had hit him in the chest, his heart began to beat rapidly and he felt cold shivers run up and down his spine.

"Sirius…oh Sirius, I'm so sorry…" Remus muttered helplessly, his eyes full of sympathy as Sirius stood up abruptly.

"I-I…I need some…some air…" Sirius whispered, his eyes already beginning to burn savagely. He turned on the spot and walked towards the hall way. Remus sat perfectly still, watching Sirius practically flee the room, he chewed on his bottom lip, unsure what to do. Finally he stood up and followed.

Sirius sat down on the little stone bench that sat surrounded by luscious flowers and had a stunning view of the Highlands all around them. He dug around in his pocket and withdrew a cigarette, he put it between his lips and began searching for a lighter. Before he could find one, however, a hand entered his field of vision with a lighter already lit. He allowed Remus to light his cigarette without comment before letting out a puff of smoke in a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes and hung his head before stuffing his fingers into his hair. "I did it." He whispered in a harsh voice filled with such intense self-loathing that Remus' eyebrow rose in surprise. "His death…it's my fault…"

"How on earth did you come to that conclusion?" Remus replied, sitting down at Sirius' side.

Sirius took another deep drag and blew it out again before lifting his head to look Remus directly in the eyes. "Everyone I have ever loved has died…and for what? Because they're associated with me. I'm fucking cursed! You'd better not get too close or maybe you'll kick the bucket as well."

Remus rolled his eyes. "You're overreacting. Thomas Brown's death was not your fault, how could it have been? You didn't hang him yourself. It was a tragedy, the poor man was probably considering it for a while. You mentioned his parents weren't happy about his sexuality…?"

Sirius snorted derisively. "I said his father hated me and blamed me for his son being queer. He didn't hate his son, he was merely looking for an excuse to explain why his son was the way he was. I was a perfect scape goat, I let them blame me, after all, what harm could they do? Other than give me bad looks? It would have been bad press if they were overheard being homophobic, wouldn't it? Lord Brown wouldn't have wanted that." He sighed heavily and rubbed at his eyes, his voice was hard and bitter as he spoke and Remus clearly heard the bite of pain in his words. "Tom was perfect, he deserved so much better than me. I could never give him what he wanted, It's what broke us up eventually, I guess. I…I loved him, I really did but I also loved James. I managed to pass off that love as merely friendship but when he had his Stag Party I…I kissed him, I didn't know it but Tom saw. James and I never spoke about that again, and even now I regret it. I regret not taking a chance when I was at school with him, what if he had had some feelings for me? What if…" Sirius sighed and shook his head. "It doesn't matter anymore does it? They're dead. They're all dead. A-and I'm here…alive and…and breathing, my heart still beating and it's so fucking wrong! Why was I spared when everyone I loved is dead?! Why am I still living when James Potter is six-feet under when I swore to him that I'd die with him? I shouldn't be sitting here talking to you, I should be where he is. He should be living in a cute cottage with his son and his wife, he should be smiling and happy. Tom should have found someone else, someone who could have given him all the love he deserved. He should have been given a chance! I don't deserve this. I shouldn't be here. I should have died for James and made everything right again!"

Remus watched with pity in his eyes as Sirius' voice drifted off into painful silence, the wind rustled through the trees as Sirius bent his head, wiping at his eyes furiously with one hand. Remus lifted a hand and put it on his shoulder, his touch gentle yet firm. "Survivors guilt." He muttered. "You feel guilt for something you could not possibly have had any control over, I can sympathise with that. Sirius, no one died because of you. It's not your fault."

Slowly Sirius lifted his head to reveal eyes rimmed in red, his cigarette had burned right down to the butt and as he looked at Remus it fell from his fingers. "You don't understand anything, Remus." He whispered harshly. "James and Lily were being hunted by a Terrorist organisation known as the Death Eaters. They went into hiding and MI6 decided that it would be a good idea if only one person knew their whereabouts…initially James wanted me to be that person b-but I…I was…" Sirius looked away, unable to look into Remus' eyes when he finally learned the truth. "I was too afraid to do it. Everyone knew I was his best friend; we hardly kept it a secret. I was afraid that I would be the first person they'd target and I was terrified that I'd give in to their torture, I've been through it before and I never want to experience it again. I told James that he should choose someone else, someone less noticeable and I suggested Pettigrew. It was me who shirked my duty and made them take Peter as their confidante. It was my fault they died, because I was a coward. And now Tom is dead because I was stupid enough to think that when they changed the law it would be a good idea to get married, I never thought it would backfire so horribly. Because of me he was blamed and harassed until he hung himself…I taint everything I touch." Sirius' voice broke finally and he covered his face once again. Remus sat at his side, watching his shoulders shake as he grieved for his friends and ex-lover, he lifted an arm and wrapped it about his shoulders, pulling him to his side.

"It's not your fault, Sirius. Despite what you say, you had no control over the events that followed your decisions. You did what you thought was right, no one can blame you for placing your trust in someone who turned into a traitor." Without really thinking he ran his fingers through Sirius' hair, noting how Sirius leaned into his touch before slowly raising his head once again and looking him directly in the eyes. Their gazes met for an extended moment before Remus finally caught himself and he abruptly released Sirius, he stood up, avoiding all eye-contact and clearing his throat loudly as he tried to cover his abrupt movement. "So…er…tea?"

"…Thanks…" Sirius replied, his voice a little cool.

"Ok, I'll go and er…make it then…" Remus cursed himself silently as he walked away, hearing Sirius' soft sigh as he bolted for the door of the cottage.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Another chapter, finally! I do hope you're still enjoying and I apologise for the delay. The story is slowly progressing, it's just difficult having to write in all the journeys and stuff.**

"_I, Thomas Brown, take you, Sirius Orion Black, to be my wedded husband. I promise to strive always to consider your needs in addition to my own; to be a source of strength for you; to accept your strength for myself; to share freely my thoughts and feelings; to listen when you share yours with me. I make these solemn promises, to keep in times of plenty and in want; in joy and in sorrow; in sickness and in health; from this day forward."_

_Sirius smiled at Tom, his fingers wrapping easily around his partners as he slid the golden ring onto his finger. He took a slow breath before lifting the ring meant for the hand of his husband; "I, Sirius Orion Black, take you, Thomas Brown, to be my wedded husband. I promise to strive always to consider your needs in addition to my own; to be a source of strength for you; to accept your strength for myself; to share freely my thoughts and feelings; to listen when you share yours with me. I make these solemn promises, to keep in times of plenty and in want; in joy and in sorrow; in sickness and in health; from this day forward."_

_Together they turned their attention to the Registrar, Sirius kept his fingers entwined with Tom's. "__Thomas Brown, will you have Sirius Orion Black to be your husband, to live together as friend and mate? Will you love him as a person, respect him as an equal, sharing joy as well as sorrow, triumph as well as defeat. And keep him beside you as long as you both shall live?" The little woman said with a smile of her own._

"_I do." Tom replied instantly and glanced at Sirius who felt his face burning, his smile widened. _

"_Sirius Orion Black, will you have Thomas Brown to be your husband, to live together as friend and mate? Will you love him as a person, respect him as an equal, sharing joy as well as sorrow, triumph as well as defeat. And keep him beside you as long as you both shall live?"_

"_I do, of course I do." Sirius said clearly and felt Tom's fingers tighten on his own._

"_Then I pronounce you wed, you may now kiss."_

_Tom grabbed Sirius by the front of his suit and dragged him to his lips, Sirius' arms came up and wrapped around his husband tight enough to strangle. Their lips met in a slow, languid kiss and the room erupted into mad applause. Sirius smiled into the kiss, reluctant to break it but knowing that he would have to, if only so he could breathe. They finally pulled away, their foreheads touching briefly before turning around to face their friends, Sirius' eyes met James' and he felt his heart flutter in his chest, his smile dropped a little before he managed to catch himself. James stepped over to him and pulled him into an embrace. "Congratulations, man." He whispered and stepped away again, grinning all the while. Lily moved forward and kissed both Sirius and Tom on the cheek, her deep purple bridesmaids dress matching their cravats perfectly. _

"_Congratulations, both of you." She said with a happy smile, she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue before moving off to allow others to congratulate the happy couple._

_That evening Sirius was in a strange daze of happiness, his hand rarely left Tom's and they both wore grins of joy. He was convinced that nothing could ever ruin this moment, not even the pang of regret and dull pain when he looked at James. He was finally happy, he had married a perfect man and they had the rest of their lives together._

Sirius stared at the little golden ring that was now threaded with a golden chain that had once belonged to his mother, he had stolen it from her jewellery box figuring that she wouldn't miss it seeing as she had lots of them. He was lying on his back on the bed that had once belonged to him, his room had been re-decorated and he felt a little odd but he didn't want to use any other room to sleep in, it would be even stranger. He sighed heavily and wiped at his eyes as his hand closed tightly around the ring that symbolised his joy and his sorrow.

Remus spent a few moments watching Sirius lay on the single bed. His heart was heavy, he understood the pain of losing loved ones, he was hesitant to disturb Sirius' mourning but he wanted to find a way to bring him out of his slump. He spent a while simply admiring him, noting the way his hair caught the light, the way his body moved beneath the silk shirt he had borrowed from what he had said was his brother's room. He absorbed the elegance of his hands, his handsome, pain torn face and realised with a deep-seated horror that he was rapidly falling in love with him. He didn't understand it, they hadn't known each other for that long but the man had taken hold of his heart and was now squeezing it.

"I know you're there, Remus."

Sirius' voice startled Remus from his deep reverie, he jumped a little and felt heat sear his cheeks. "Oh, I-I…I'm sorry. I wasn't spying on you or anything."

Sirius turned his head and looked at him, his eyes heavily lidded so that all Remus could see was a thin line of silver. "Oh? I'm a little disappointed." His smirk was brief and made all the hairs on Remus' body stand on end; he shivered and tried to force away the intense attraction he was feeling. Slowly Sirius lifted a hand and beckoned Remus who felt his feet moving before he could even consider his actions, he silently cursed himself as he found himself stood by the bed that Sirius was on. "So, what did you find so fascinating about me?" Sirius muttered, propping himself up on his elbows and smiling seductively.

"I was concerned, after what happened I didn't want to leave you alone for too long."

Sirius snorted derisively and swept the hair from his eyes in one elegant gesture. "Oh really? Was it that innocent? The way you've been looking at me recently suggests that you want something more. Am I correct in this assumption, Mr. Lupin?" His fingers snaked around the collar of Remus' own shirt and pulled him so that he was leaning over Sirius, their lips brushed and Remus stifled a groan of desperate longing. "What do you think? I dunno about you but it's been far too long without a good fuck for me…well…kind of…" His eyes clouded over for a moment and Remus noted a hesitant shake in his hand before he took a breath and seemed to physically pull himself together. "Not that that counts, I wasn't a willing participant after all." His voice trembled and he released Remus' collar before seeming to regain his scattered thoughts. "I'm up for it if you are." He said after a moment's hesitation.

"Sirius…I…I can't." Remus managed to force himself away, his eyes moving from those of his friends as he frowned angrily at the cool blue curtains. "I'm sorry." He turned around, intending to flee but felt a hand wrap around his wrist tightly.

"Don't leave me." Sirius breathed, almost too softly to hear. "The nightmares…I-I can't take it anymore."

Slowly Remus felt his resolve waver and finally collapse, he turned around to find Sirius looking up at him through wide eyes full of deep terror. "Alright…I can stay with you tonight."

"Thank you." Sirius replied weakly and he finally released Remus. "I'm sorry about that…Sometimes when I'm upset I want to forget about things and sex is usually the way I do it…you're right, of course, it would be stupid to do anything. I'm grieving a-and I'm drunk and that's never a good combination…"

"It's ok, I can understand." Remus smiled and slid onto the bed beside Sirius, leaning back against the headboard.

XXX

The engine droned on around them, Remus felt his eyes getting heavy as he sat slumped in the passenger seat. Sirius had both hands on the wheel, occasionally removing one to change gear. The glow of the headlights illuminated the road ahead and left everything else around them in eerie blackness, the car moved steadily forward as the world around them pressed against the windows. Remus' eye lids dropped before snapping open again, his hand slid down to touch the butt of the gun Sirius had forced on him, he derived a strange comfort from its weight. He remembered the moment they had stolen the car, Sirius with his own gun pointing in at the unfortunate driver who had stopped to help two bedraggled looking hitchhikers. He remembered the awful, hard glaze to Sirius' eyes as he forced the driver to get out the car and hand him the keys, he remembered the terror of the man as Sirius had forced him onto the ground with both hands behind his head. He had been too terrified to look up as they had climbed into the vehicle and driven off, leaving him behind in the grey, drizzly morning. The car was packed for a camping trip it seemed, Sirius was delighted when he discovered the tent and other useful camping equipment as it meant that they didn't have to spend nights in the car which would have been uncomfortable. The only problem was that the tent was only a single one and Remus and Sirius were forced to sleep pressed up against each other, which made Remus lie awake until the sun touched the horizon with a highly uncomfortable erection that he tried very hard to hide. He suspected he failed judging from the vaguely amused looks Sirius would give him.

The rest of the journey was done in daylight due to the fact that they had stolen the car in the evening; they travelled for seven hours, stopping as little as possible to avoid detection by people. Finally they found themselves entering the densely populated outskirts of the city, Sirius found a safe place to pull over in a little area near a train station. He abandoned the car and opened the boot, inside was the tent and other camping essentials as well as several sets of clothes and other items. Sirius pulled out a fresh shirt and pair of jeans before stripping off his own clothes and changing before finding a beanie hat and pulling it on to cover his hair. He threw Remus a change of clothes and he went around the other side of the car to change. When done they set off towards the train station.

They bought tickets from an automated ticket machine using a wad of cash they had found stashed away in the car under the seat, Sirius seemed utterly unconcerned as he paid for their tickets even as Remus voiced his worries aloud. He brushed them off with a casual wave of his hand before moving onto the platform their train would arrive at, finally Remus sat down in a seat with a heavy sigh. "So, where are we going?" He asked finally.

Sirius scratched absently at his head, the beanie apparently being made from some material made in hell. "Westminster." He said softly, his eyes moving over the almost deserted platform. "I know a guy there who can help us, but I will warn you the place isn't very…legal."

"I shouldn't be surprised." Remus sighed. "What are they? Drug dealer? Arms dealer?"

"All of the above, he also owns a brothel."

"Ah, I see. Friendly bloke is he?"

"Only if you have something he wants." Sirius replied shortly.

Remus paused, watching a man who was standing on the platform edge, swaying gently from side to side and humming to himself. "And do you have something he wants?"

"Oh yes." Sirius said and grinned, but the expression was far from happy.

"And what would that be then?"

Sirius stood up, catching Remus off guard as he pulled him up with him. They moved to the edge of the platform as a train began to pull into the station. "He wants me." He said roughly and refused to say more as he climbed into the nearest carriage.

The street was quiet as they walked, the houses looked relatively well maintained and the streets clean. Sirius walked at a fast pace, he continuously pulled his hat lower over his eyes and kept checking behind him as if he feared that someone was following them. Finally he reached a tall house and stopped, he looked left and right before walking up to the door and pressing the door bell. Remus could hear the soft thud of music from somewhere above them, he looked up and noticed that all the windows were closed and curtained, which was odd considering it was a rather warm day. After a moment or two the door opened to reveal a man with slick hair and a smart suit, he grinned widely as he spotted his guests. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. Britain's-Most-Wanted! I've been waiting to hear from you, come on in, you must be tired."

Sirius pushed past the man and Remus followed, he noted how his small eyes dropped to Sirius' arse and how his smile turned into a smirk. With great difficulty Remus held back the urge to pull Sirius back out into the street and followed him into the dark corridor beyond.

**END NOTE: If you're wondering why the drive from Scotland to London was seemingly easy I will explain that the guy they stole the car from was left in the middle of the Scottish highlands, it would have taken him ages to alert the authorities that he had been robbed at gun point and even longer for the police to then find out which way they had gone, by the time they had worked it out Sirius and Remus would have already been in London. London is a massive city and has a huge population, it would be difficult to find two men in a mass of people like that. **


End file.
